My Old School 1804
Saturday, September 24, 2005-2:36 P.M. CDT
Good afternoon and what a fine day it is today in Omaha, Nebraska. I'm in the Ice House Sports Bar and restaurant, my home for at least one more day before pushing off to Lexington, Nebraska, and taking advantage of their wireless internet. I have to say, it's quite handy, and I am getting used to it to an unhealthy point. Yesterday, I sat in the bar for almost four hours online, doing God knows what, and today, I made the smart move of grabbing a booth rather than a table, because the high-back bar stools made my butt numb.
The staff here at the Ice House have been over-the-top nice to me this week. The food has been complimentary, and delivered with a smile, and of course, I tipped generously each time. It's nice to be treated like a commodity once in a while rather than an interruption of business or a nuisance. If a comedy club is charging a ten dollar ticket for their comedy show, and you could see a mid-level rock act (let's say, Government Mule or the Spin Doctors) and get the same ticket price, believe me, nobody would think of treating the members of those bands the way that comedians get treated...it's almost a foregone conclusion that comics can be mistreated because we're of a lesser calibre. It's nice when you get to play in a place that doesn't subscribe to that school of thought.
I just got back from the bathroom, where I had a nice pee and then washed my hands. As I was leaving the restroom, I used the door handle to open the door (duh), and because it's a sports bar, the door handle was shaped like a baseball bat. And suddenly, it occured to me; not every gentleman who uses the bathroom washes his hands, but EVERY gentleman uses that door handle. Henceforth, I just put my clean hands on every kind of germ, virus, microbe, amoeba and pestilence that every guy before me had. And I'm sure that whomever cleans the bathroom didn't give the door handle a good Lysol spritz...I've cleaned many a bathroom in my day, and the thought never occured to me until just now.
It's college football day, and here at the Ice House, there are several contingents watching the games and hooting and hollering. I just looked up and besides the full compliment of Nebraska Cornhusker and Iowa Hawkeyes banners and paraphenalia, there's a United States Navy banner. Now, I love the good fighting men and women of the Navy as much as anyone else, but this is Omaha, Nebraska...they are as land-locked as you could possible be. Anyway, Iowa is getting drubbed by Ohio State, and everyone's pretty quiet, but Miami is beating Colorado, and that must be important because everytime Miami scores, confetti falls, horns blow, all the girls in the bar take off their shirts and dance on the bar, and free drinks get passed around. I'm kidding....there's no confetti.
Last night's shows were just as backward as they could possibly be. The first show, the MONEY show, there were about 14 people in the place. I sat on the edge of the stage, dangled my feet, and talked to the audience like we were around a campfire and I was about to make some S'mores. The second show, it was a viking ship full of people, every possible race, color, creed and economic status was represented, plus a table full of Iowans (wretched, wretched bastards). These were the kind of people that trailer park folk band together and get kicked out because they're "bad for the community." I had fun, although it was like being a cop during a British soccer riot...I did my best, but it wasn't enough to keep the peace.
To pass away the time, I took one of those online tests to see where I fit in the political spectrum (like I really didn't know where I was). The results were as follows. I always thought I was a fair and decent person, but it's nice to have that validation.
You are a
Social Moderate
(55% permissive)
and an...
Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)
You are best described as a:
Democrat
You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. loc: (18, -119)
w: (1531)
For the record, I am a registered Independent (Liberal). And apparently, I'm also Fair and Balanced. Ain't that a kick?
Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY
p.s. Take the test here if you wish, and drop me an e-mail with your score.
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