I'm Winning

I'm Winning                                              1813

There's nothing worse than a sports bar.

I'm back at the Ice House Live, where for some reason, the wireless internet wasn't working for me last night, but today, it's fine.  I'm chilled out in the corner of what was the comedy showroom last night, but today it's the secondary seating for a packed, NFL-crazed crowd.  I'm watching my beloved Buffalo Bills all by myself in a corner on one of the smaller sets, and while Buffalo currently trails 13-6, there's a contingent of Miami Dolphins fans (read; dicks) enjoying the Dolphins current domination of the Carolina Panthers.  Also, they cheered when St. Louis ran back an interception against Tennessee, so basically, they're just WAY too into the game (and that's why they're dicks).  Hey, I'm a fan, but I don't flounce around in my team's jersey like I just blew the quarterback and stole it off his bedroom floor while he was sleeping.

Maybe I'd be in a better mood if Buffalo was winning.

Anyway, last night's shows were just as weird as Friday's....the early show was light, and the late show was packed.  There was a huge table of lesbians, and a huge table of scruffy Iowans, and they were all looking at me like I killed their puppies.  I battled them and eventually got them, but it was too much like work.  It's a new club, and they're getting a lot of folks who have never been to comedy before, so it's going to take some breaking in.  It was fun though, and Scotty Goff, the headliner from Tucson, Arizona, was a pleasure to work with.  He's the type of guy that works his ass off on stage and he's very funny, plus he's experienced without being bitter and jaded (which happens to us long-timers some times).

Carolina just pulled off a long pass play complete near the goal line, which shut those Dolphins dicks up pretty good.  I just noticed that one of them is wearing a cheese head hat.  Which to me means they have no idea who they're rooting for.  Maybe it's just a field trip from a group home.

Anyway, I got a nice little surprise last night; the club was supposed to mail my paycheck to my house, and instead, they presented it to me in person, which means a lot less jumping through hoops to access my money.  It makes a big difference to have cash when you're on the road and gas is $3.00 a gallon.

O.K.  I'm going to eat my cheeseburger, enjoy the Bills game (win or lose) and go do some laundry.  Have a nice weekend (what's left of it).

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY

p.s.  While I was trying to think of a classic rock song to name this column after, Willis McGahee punched the ball into the Atlanta Falcons' end zone for a quick six points.  Oh, lucky day!