...And Justice For All

...And Justice For All                                                      1727

September 17, 2005-6:06 P.M.

Hello from Reston, Virginia, just outside of our nation's capitol, where I'm settled into my luxurious hotel room at the Best Western and getting ready for the big 9:00 P.M. show at Wiseacres Comedy Club with headliner Randolph T.

Last night's show in Washington, North Carolina t the Southern Cheers Restaurant was a by-the-book affair, despite some low spirits due to the hurricane and some flooding that Ophelia brought.  Attendance was feh, but the room was small so it didn't detract much from the show.  I worked with Jim Holder from Houston, Texas, and we had a delightful chat befoe the show, along with some of the house gumbo, which was good 'n' spicy.

Because of the early showtime, I was back at the hotel by about 10:30, and after a failed attempt at sleep (I slept 5 hours before the show), I got up and started trolling the chatroom on the internet, something I hadn't done in easily ten years.

I wound up in a nest of Liberals, and I had a discussion with an American Indian fellow who was swearing up and down that the inclusion of "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance constituted religious instruction, or religious indoctrination of schoolchildren to say the least.  I told him he was nuts, and that there was no way the Supreme Court of the United States was going to entertain that argument, because the Pledge is voluntary, and uttering the words "Under God" (which a child can choose to do or not) does not constitute worship.  He got mad and asked me if I would approve of my child reading the Koran in school...now first of all, if I'm a good parent, and I want to pass along my religious beliefs, I should be fine if my child, upon reaching an age old enough to reason (she's 18 months right now, and spirituality is a little bit beyond her....right now, she thinks food comes when you cry), decides to accept or reject my teachings.  But of course, I would want her exposed to all of the information out there to make that decision.  My friend on the chat line (until 4:00 A.M., mind you) couldn't get his head around the idea that reading a book and worship are two different things.  If a teacher read a passage from the Bible, let's say, and then followed it up with "this is the truth, and you should dig what it has to say," versus "this is a piece of popular mythology that some folks believe and others don't," then we don't have an issue.  It's only when the piece is presented as worship that anyone should have a problem.

Now in the Pledge, the phrase used is "Under God."  And which God is that?  Most of the people in the world believe in some sort of being that they call God, except for Atheists and Agnostics.  And even they believe a little bit, because when the shit starts coming hot and heavy, like gunfire or extreme weather, they start praying like a muthafukka.  Therefore, the phrase is only (or should be only) objectionable to people who don't believe in any deity whatsoever.  At which point, you are free to abstain in recognition.  You don't have to sit on Santa's lap either, but he's at the mall every Christmas season if you want to.

Extremism is dangerous.  The only good place, I believe, is the middle of the road, because that's where you respect others' rights, and they respect yours.  We live in a country where you can swing your fist if you want, but that right ends where someone else's nose begins.  If people could compromise a little better, oh, what a wonderful world we would live in!  Unfortunately, there's large groups of people out there who don't dig the way some people swing their fists, and they want them to change because they can't not meddle in others' affairs.

You don't believe in abortion?  Cool.  Don't have one.  But don't tell someone else they can't have one...who put you in charge?  Some people say that they try to oppose abortion because the woman would be committing the sin of murder and would burn in Hell for it.  Unless she asks for forgiveness, but I guess some folks forget about that part of the equation.

I guess my biggest problem with the "Under God" question is that nobody is really getting hurt by the recognition of God in the pledge.  Let's say that you're a kid in school, and you do the pledge in the morning, and you're forced to say "Under God" along with the other students, and you really don't believe in God.  Is this an outrage?  Are your rights being trampled?  Do you go home every day, hating yourself, feeling your convictions dashed?  I gotta think, no you don't.  Because as heineous as it would be to be forced to deny a God that you believe in and trust and worship, to acknowledge a God that you really don't care about is not the equal opposite.  It's rather pithy, actually...it's a two-second thing that is fleeting and forgotten almost immediately after saying it.

Maybe I'm allowing my personl convictions to color the argument, but that's why I'm not on the Supreme Court.  And if I can't use my personal convictions to form an opinion, who's convictions should I use?

Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice For All.  Amen.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY