Jumping Jack Flash

Jumping Jack Flash                                              4301  (261)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006-12:08 A.M. CDT (Thursday morning)

Continuing the big tour through the Upper Midwest of America, last night was Walker, Minnesota and tonight was Grand Forks, North Dakota.  Still working with Al Katz from Orlando, Florida, a longtime comedy buddy who used to work for me in Rochester when I was GM of the Comix Cafe.

Last night at the Northern Lights Casino, you would have thought we were the biggest prima donnas there ever was.  We tried to get comps for the buffet (an industry standard for casino shows) and were roundly rebuffed.  We wound up eating there anyway, and met the casino promotions director who was assigned  to babysit us.  We were told that the week before, the comedy show drew five people, and had been moved from the big special events room into the casino lounge.  The show wound up not being that lousy, we started with four people and by the time the show was over, the crowd had swelled to about 35, more than enough to fill the seats in the lounge, and that's not counting the folks at the bar (who were listening and playing video poker at the same time, which is why I didn't count them).

The show was an early one, 7 PM, and was over by 8:30.  I didn't know what to do with myself, so I hung around the casino snack bar and chatted with some of the employees and guests who had seen the show.  I did a mind-reading trick with Lavonne, the cashier at the snack bar, while her manager/fiancee' and some other employees looked on.  I met some folks from International Falls, Minnesota, which is way up there near Canada.  They were new grandparents on their way to St. Cloud, Minnesota to see their granddaughter, who was born premature and was only a little over a pound and still in an incubator.  I met a woman who was also a grandmother, only she didn't look old enough to have accomplished such a feat.  She was enjoying one of the casino's $3.50 hot dogs, and I was eating a $5.95 hamburger, and the whole time, I was looking for a board full of departure and arrival times just out of reflex.

Tonight was the Ramada Inn in Grand Forks, North Dakota...the show was well attended, mostly college-aged folks, and I had a great time.  My half-hour whisked by quickly, and I abandoned a lot of material in favor of spritzing, which is becoming more natural and successful for me.  I learned what I know by working so much with Mike Dambra, who is probably the quickest and funniest crowd-work comic I've ever seen, but I had to work up the confidence to try that sort of thing myself.  I've found that you don't have to say the funniest possible line, as long as you spit it out quickly, with emphasis and conviction.  I always used to take a few seconds to think about it, which to the audience looks like I'm taking a few seconds to think about it.  It's better to just lay it out there and if it lays flat, sling another line right behind it.

I met some interesting people after the show.  One guy threw a Rochester Americans (our Triple A affiliate to the Buffalo Sabres NHL team) reference at me, and come to find out, he's Bill Bredin, the deputy commissioner of the United States Hockey League (www.ushl.com) and used to work with the National Hockey League.  This is the second NHL-related person I've met in the last month...the last one was a girl in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, who used to date Buffalo Sabres goalie Ryan Miller.  I'm not much of a hockey fan, but if I was, I guess I'd be thrilled, but as it is, I'm still intrigued.  Still, I got into comedy because I like people, and I think it's neat to talk to people after the shows and see what they're all about.  One guy was a rather portly young man in a "Flash" T-shirt...you usually don't think of the Fastest Man Alive and a 30-something kid with a beer gut in the same take, but here he was.  I'm a huge comic book fan, and have been collecting them for 30 years or more, and we were having a long conversation when Al decided he would "save" me by telling me I had a message at the front desk.  It's an old ploy that we sometimes use when you're "trapped" in a conversation with a boring guest, but in this case, I was the one doing most of the talking so I don't understand why Al thought I needed saving, but I appreciated the effort.  Al was talking with a couple of young ladies who saw the show, and I think they knew the guy I was talking to because he's a bartender at the local watering hole, and they may have put Al on the idea that I was gonna get my ear chewed off.  It's nice to have people looking out for you, I guess.

Tomorrow, it's off to Moorehead, Minnesota (sister city to Fargo, North Dakota) for three days at the club there.  This is one of the best paying weeks I've ever worked since I started doing comedy on the road, but it's also the most nut-busting drives home that I'll have when I'm finished.  The actual drive is 20 hours, and I lose an hour because of the time difference between Central and Eastern time.  I'm wrestling with the dynamics of attempting the drive, because I don't want to have to get a hotel in the middle, but I also don't think I can do 20 hours straight driving without amphetamines.  I will have the prospect of reuniting with my wife and daughter after two weeks on the road to spur me along, so that's good.  I can't wait to see them again.  When I called home after the show tonight, Pam answered in a whisper because Harmony was sleeping and she didn't want to wake her, and all I could think of is my baby daughter in the crib, my wife hovering over her, watching her and caring for her, and feeling like the luckiest guy in the world.  They are worth what I put myself through, the long drives and the smoky one-nighters.  I do my shows to earn money, and I earn the money to make a nice life for them.  When I started this comedy game almost 18 years ago, it was all about me and my glory, and now it's all about their comfort and security.  It's nice to have a reason for doing what you do, it keeps you focused and honest.

Enough for today.  I'm going to finish my Sudoku puzzle and catch some zzzz's.  I'll check in with you again tomorrow, and thanks for reading me.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY