Four Cars Ago

Four Cars Ago                        4261  (221)

Sunday, April 16, 2006-9:24 A.M.

The trail of tears beckons, and I don't want to go.

Good morning, and Happy Easter, Passover, or just plain ol' Sunday if that's what you choose.  I'm getting ready to shake the dust of Knoxville, Tennessee from my feet and make my way to Thief River Falls, Minnesota, for my show tomorrow night.  Only I don't wanna go.

On Friday, I took my Toyota Corolla, current mileage 292,000+, in to a Toyota dealership to get the air conditioning recharged.  Only it didn't work out that way.  Apparently, the AC is shot, there's about $300 worth of parts that need replacing, and it's just not in the budget to do that.  Also, I laughed a little when the mechanic asked me if I was driving near the ocean because he saw all the salt on my engine...that's road salt from New York snow removal...I guess they don't see that in Tennessee...they told me that when it does snow, they spray the roads with brine ahead of time.  I guess it must work.

Regardless, the prognosis was that not only am I not getting air conditioning, which may be uncomfortable until I head significantly north, but apparently there's oil on my timing belt, which isn't good.  If the timing belt goes, the whole car stops, which is what happened to my good buddy Steve Burr the last time we worked together.  I have a 1,283 mile drive ahead of me over the next two days, and I'm not enjoying the idea that my car might not be there for the whole trip.  If I can make it home, I can probably get it repaired, if that's the route I want to go, but I don't want to have to get repairs done on the road...I won't have a choice of mechanic, and it will probably throw my whole schedule off.  The way I figure it, I have to drive 10 hours or more over two days, and the more miles I drive today, Easter Sunday, the fewer I have to drive tomorrow.  My route takes me through several big cities, including Louisville, Kentucky, Indianapolis, Indiana, Chicago, Illinois, Madison, Wisconsin, and Minneapolis, Minnesota.  If there are problems, I have AAA and can get towed, I only hope that if I break down, I break down 100 miles from a major city (AAA's towing limit).  I really hope that I just finish the tour and get home, to be honest, but I have to prepare for the worst.

The shows on Friday and Saturday were excellent, the only downside being that when you open for a celebrity comedian, as I did this past weekend with Tim Wilson, you usually get your time cut back so the big name draw guy can do his thing.  I put out the hottest 20 minute sets I could, and got really great crowd response and merchandise sales to match.  I actually ran out of DVD's, but I still have a decent number of CD's for the trip up North.  The money will actually help if I have to do any emergency road repairs, but I'd rather bring the money home.

Tim was great to work with this week...he had his wife with him, so he wasn't really available during the day to hang around with, but he was friendly, cordial and complimentary between and after the shows.  He gave props from the stage, which is flattering and unnecessary, but it's nice to hear that your headliner likes you and publicly acknowledges that. 

Mark Craycraft, the new manager at the Knoxville Comedy Zone, runs a tight ship and everything went well all weekend.  I got scolded a couple of times for being in the office while the box office was trying to take phone reservations and sell tickets, which I thought was a little over the top, but I vacated when asked.  The rest of the staff were great, and it's always a pleasure coming back to this club.

Chad Riden, our mc for the week, finally made it from Nashville after having car troubles of his own, and on Saturday we hooked up for lunch.  He's a funny guy and a good mc, and he took the bullet from a couple of rowdy crowds over the weekend.  You don't really appreciate that mc job until you start middling and think "thank God I didn't have to go first."

O.K., it's time to hit the showers and start packing out.  Wish me luck as I head North, and I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY