Enter Sandman 3894 (3861) (33)
Thursday, March 16, 2006-3:35 P.M.
God, please kill me.
I take that back. I don't want to die, but I definitely can't wait for this little "phase" of my life to get over with.
I'm in Sault Ste. Marie, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan at the Kewadin Casino Resort. I played last night at the Kewadin property in St. Ignace, Michigan, also in the Upper Peninsula.
Now, for a brief glossary of pronunciations: Soo Saint MUHree, keWAHden, SAINT IGnuss, cuhSEEno.
I was without internet yesterday...you know you're beyond the curvature of the Earth when you can't even dial-up AOL. I felt crippled, alone, adrift on the ocean without an oar. It was rough.
I slept poorly Tuesday night...that's always a bad thing when you're staring down a 10-hour drive. I was uncomfortable because I've been having intestinal issues, first I was loose as a goose, then overcompensated with the Pepto Bismol, now I've been bound up for a week. No matter how you slice it, my tender anus has been screaming "No Mas! No Mas!" Everything I eat, I have to consider how it's going to pass. It's been a little frustrating.
I wound up taking FIVE bathroom breaks in that 10-hour drive. Nothing like a fire on the back porch to make a long drive seem even longer. I got to St. Ignace, found out that the hotel I was being lodged at was nowhere near the casino (what a treat) and had to back-track to get to it. The nice thing was that there was a shuttle, so I didn't have to drive in the dark through the mountainous nothing of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
I got to the hotel three hours before showtime. I drew a hot bath to soak my aching body in, and fell asleep. Luckily, I woke up in time to shave, shower properly, and get to the casino in time to enjoy a complimentary meal before the show, and then took the stage. The show was pretty cool, a room full of UP rednecks that liked me well enough, and when the show was over, it was back to the nickel slots. I grabbed the shuttle back to the hotel and slept like a dead man.
Except that I really didn't sleep all that much. I've been using my CPAP machine, which I received for treatment of my sleep apnea, and I wake up totally refreshed. I get about seven hours of sleep, and then I'm ready to take on the world. I fell asleep at about 12:30, just after Letterman, and woke up around 7:00. I caught the lovely continental breakfast, and then retreated back to my room. I read quite a bit, then caught another hour or so of sleep, and hit the road for the Soo.
I have about five hours until showtime, so I think I'm going to enjoy my gambling voucher and see if I can't turn it into some extra cash at the nickel slots. I'm driving my wife's car this week again, and it doesn't get the same gas mileage as my beloved Toyota (25 mpg vs. 30....it makes a difference on a 1200 mile road-trip). I believe I'm getting another comped meal, and this property actually lodges us on the premises, so I have lots of time to screw around before showtime, and then tomorrow, the 11-hour trail of tears back to Rochester. I did this trip once before, back when I was on the George Carlin tour, but I had the company Bronco and couldn't cut through Canada, and it took me about 16 hours to get down to Detroit, through Toledo, Ohio, and back to Rochester (I was carrying Carlin T-Shirts and product with no manifest, and Canadian Customs wouldn't allow me to pass). I left at 6 A.M. and got into Rochester about 10 at night. I had a nice meal, and slept, and then the next morning, picked up more Carlin merchadise and drove to New Hampshire. This was 10 years ago, I was 29 and a real animal. Today, I could do it, but I'd need to have my bones removed, massaged, and then put back.
I have Friday off, and then a nice local show on Saturday, and I'll take advantage of the time home to recuperate and get some family time in. Career-wise, this weekend isn't going to make a dent in my resume, but as they say in the business, "Hell gig is better than no gig."
Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY
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