Black

Black                                      3800

Thursday, March 9, 2006-12:11 A.M.

Is there a black cloud over my head?

Live from Detroit, the Motor City, Motown, home of the NBA champion Pistons, NHL perennial superpower Red Wings, and unfortunate NFL punching bag Lions.  Tonight, Chaplin's Comedy Club played host to headliner Kevin Naughton, mc Crystal P., and myself.  Together, we pitched the jokes like we were the Detroit Tigers, and the audience of 22 was catching them like they were pigeons with the bird flu.  Seriously, this group was obviously out at the club against their will, which always baffled me.  We fought, wheedled, cajoled, and delivered the goods, but found few takers.  I decided to cut my losses and retire back to the lovely Red Roof Inn and made some chunky soup in my electric wok.  Comfort food, indeed.

I called the West Virginia Magistrate's office about my speeding ticket that I incurred last week, and got some discomforting news...I have no recourse for a plea bargain.  I'm used to being abled to plea down charges on traffic infractions, but I guess West Virginia needs the money too badly.  The new scam is that they give you a $5 fine, but there's $153.50 worth of "court costs" that are levied, despite the amount of the fine.  Nice, West Virginia.  Kiss my ass, Mountaineers.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better, but I don't know.  It's piss raining here in Detroit, and there was thunder 'n' lightning and my cable just went out.  Could it get any worse?  And of course it was right during Bill Maher's show, which I never get to watch.  Do you hate me, God?

O.K., cable's back on, so I'm signing off.  Tomorrow will be better, because it can't be worse.  Keep yer powder dry, my friends.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY