Shakin'

Shakin'                                3576

Monday, February 20, 2006-1:01 A.M.

Wrapping up the weekend in Charleston, West Virgina.  I worked with headliner Just June...we'd worked together before, and we had a good time this weekend.  The club was full for every show, which was quite a difference from the last time I played the Comedy Zone there; it was July 4th weekend, and the place was a ghost town.

After the second show, I decided to go out and grab some late chow, which at 1 in the morning, usually means Taco Bell.  Long story short, I was trying to find a Taco Bell in a plaza about 10 miles from my hotel...I had seen it the day before, but that was during the day.  In the night, I got disoriented, went into the wrong plaza entrance and hit a divider, flattening my front driver's side tire.

My AAA membership had lapsed, and I had to renew over the phone.  They sent a driver (after I unsuccessfuly tried changing the tire myself...the lug nuts were on so tight, I had no shot of loosening them...plus, it was about 15 degrees out).

I went to a 24-hour garage, and they hooked me up with a new tire, as well as hammering out my dented rim.  It cost me $70 total, plus another $76 for the AAA renewal.  By the time all was said and done, I got back to the room at 5:20 in the morning, no Taco Bell, lighter in the wallet, tired and pissed.  Plus, I tore the heel away from my dress Oxfords running in the parking lot when the tow truck driver bypassed the Exxon station that I clearly told the AAA dispatcher I would be waiting at, and had to run the 300 yards in the cold so the tow truck driver wouldn't see that I had abandoned my lame car and split.  Oh, and at the same time, about four fire engines responded to some alarm at a Chinese buffet restaurant right near my car....for a second, I figured the bitch caught fire on me, which would have been just my luck.

The kid at the 24-hour garage did the best job he could, but my car still shook like a sonofabitch all the way home today.  I trucked home after about three hours of sleep, and I hit the road at 10:30, and rolled into my driveway right about 5:30...seven hours for what should have been an eight-hour trip. 

Tomorrow, I've got to start back at square one with my vehicle maintenance.  I currently need a new rim, a front-end alignment, a diagnostic on my "check engine" light, a new passenger side seatbelt apparatus, and I need my driver's side rear door lock loosened (the door won't open) and need the trunk lock barrel replaced (I can open it with the latch near the gas cap release, but not with the key...very inconvenient).

At 288,000 miles, I question how much work I should really invest in this vehicle, but I've had it so long and covered so much terrain in it, it really feels like an emotional loss thinking about getting another vehicle.  I suppose it will take a major failure, like the engine dropping out or an accident that demolishes the thing (and probably killing me in the process) to make me replace it.  Ah well.

This week, Lansing, Michigan awaits.  I'm working with Chili Challis for the second time in the last two months, and we have a charity show together at Gary Fields in Battle Creek in April.  I've worked with a lot of people, but never such a dense concentration of dates that arrived at random.

O.K., I gotta go talk on the phone and give President Bush something to listen to.  Have a great week

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY