Allentown

Allentown                                               3353

Friday, February 3, 2006-2:47 P.M.

I'm in Allentown, PA, at the Ramada Inn (actually, this is the town of Whitehall), home of the Allentown Wisecracker's comedy club.  I came in last night about 2 A.M., and did the radio station promotion this morning with Bearman and Keith on WZZO.  They were amicable guys who basically let me come in and shanghai the whole show.  I badgered every caller, questioned every guest, and somehow took over every discussion with my personal opinion.  They loved it!  Hopefully, my wit will draw some folks out to the club tonight 'n' tomorrow.

One of the best callers was a guy who chimed in about a local case of a student who was being censured because he refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance at his school.  The caller took the position that "...if he was my kid, I would have kicked his butt, slapped his head and put him on a mule out of town."  Bearman and I jumped on him like a Baptist on a sparerib at a church picnic...I told him that our soldiers who fought and died for our freedoms (his words) fought for the freedom to dissent, and as long as the kid sat quietly and wasn't disruptive during the Pledge, he was totally in line.  Keith was right on time with the patriotic music in the background, and this guy spun a 180 like the Dukes of Hazzard at a police roadblock.  It was fun to take some self-important bastard and rip him to ribbons for being wrong, instead of being that guy for a change.

The show's at 9:00 tonight, so I have a few hours to kill.  I'm going to try and hit the post office, do a little mall-walking and have a nice dinner.  I'm probably not going to go to the movies, although there's a theater right across the street.  Movies suck today, and that prompted me to go to the American Film Institute and look up their Top 100 films of the 20th century (yeah, I've got that kind of time) and I ranked them chronologically (yeah, I've got that kind of time, too) to see how many of them I've actually seen.  Here's the actual list:

American Film Institute’s Top 100 Films (Chronological List

1910’s

44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)

1920’s

74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)

90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)

1930’s

54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)

76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)

87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)

43. KING KONG (1933)

85. DUCK SOUP (1933)

35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)

86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)

81. MODERN TIMES (1936)

49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)

97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)

4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)

6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)

29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)

73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)

1940’s

21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)

51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)

58. FANTASIA (1940)

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)

23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)

2. CASABLANCA (1942)

100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)

38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)

11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)

30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)

57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)

1950’s

12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)

16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)

17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)

45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)

68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)

92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)

10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)

33. HIGH NOON (1952)

52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)

69. SHANE (1953)

8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)

42. REAR WINDOW (1954)

59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)

82. GIANT (1956)

96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)

13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)

61. VERTIGO (1958)

14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)

40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)

72. BEN-HUR (1959)

1960’s

18. PSYCHO (1960)

93. THE APARTMENT (1960)

41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)

5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)

34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)

67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)

26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)

91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)

39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)

55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)

7. THE GRADUATE (1967)

27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)

99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)

22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)

36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)

50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)

80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)

88. EASY RIDER (1969)

1970’s

56. M*A*S*H (1970)

89. PATTON (1970)

46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)

70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)

3. THE GODFATHER (1972)

77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)

19. CHINATOWN (1974)

32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)

20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)

48. JAWS (1975)

47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)

66. NETWORK (1976)

78. ROCKY (1976)

15. STAR WARS (1977)

31. ANNIE HALL (1977)

64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)

79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)

28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

1980’s

24. RAGING BULL (1980)

60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)

25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)

62. TOOTSIE (1982)

53. AMADEUS (1984)

83. PLATOON (1986)

1990’s

75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)

94. GOODFELLAS (1990)

65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)

98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)

9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)

71. FORREST GUMP (1994)

95. PULP FICTION (1994)

84. FARGO (1996)

 By my count, I've seen 48 of them, several of them courtesy of a film appreciation class I took in college (seriously, who goes to Blockbuster and asks them if they have "Birth of a Nation?"  And what Blockbuster carries it?)

By contrast, though, just flipping through the HBO schedule for last month (way to go with the update, Ramada), today's movies are schlock and dross...."Million Dollar Baby?"  "Love, Actually?"  (God, deliver me from Hugh Grant) "Ocean's Twelve," "Miss Congenialtiy 2-Armed and Fabulous?"

Hollywood today doesn't have the creative talent to produce a "Rear Window," much less an "Unforgiven" or a "Fargo."  Instead, we have "Big Momma's House 2."  Even the most recent comedy on the list, "Tootsie," was made 24 years ago, in 1982.  So basically, there hasn't been a remarkable comedy movie since then, speaks the American Film Institute.  And do they have a case?  What could your rebuttal be if you chose to disagree?  "Ghostbusters?"  "Ace Ventura Pet Detective?"

Maybe I'll just read a book.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY