Sick As A Dog

Sick As A Dog                3268

Saturday, January 27, 2006-12:31 A.M.

Scranton, Pennsylvania.  Well, I'm finally here.  Of course, I feel so crappy, they should draw a chalk outline around me.

Wednesday, the day before I hit the road, I had flu-like symptoms that included "losing it" from both ends.  It cleared up in time for me to hit the road and work the show in Ohio on Thursday night, but apparently, I wasn't out of the woods.

I woke up at 5:30 A.M., and couldn't stop "Ralphing."  I had a seven-hour drive in front of me, and I needed to get myself together quick.  After I had pretty much eliminated everything in my system (and left housekeeping a nice tip for their troubles), I grabbed some Diet 7-Up (no ginger ale to be had in Ohio, I guess) and hit the road.  I was afraid to eat anything, so all I had all day was Pepto-Bismol, water, and Diet 7-Up.  Not a good combination for a person who leans toward hypoglycemia.  The last couple hundred miles, I felt sleepy and woozy, and at one point, I caught myself racing down route 80 in Pennsylvania going 100 miles per hour.  I didn't even know my car could go that fast...it was impressive.

I got to the hotel in time to have a nice two-hour nap (only got the four hours of sleep, so it was completely necessary), and had a nice shower and was right on time for the 9:00 P.M. show with Jimmy Graham and John Agers.  I've worked with both of these guys before, and we had a lot of fun.  Scranton's own Brad Cox dropped in and did a guest spot, and we talked comedy after my show.

I was tired, but got through my show pretty well.  They gave me a nice salad to take back to the room, and so far, it's stayed down, but my fingers are still crossed.  Maybe after a good night's sleep, I'll feel better.  There's two shows tomorrow (or tonight, however you look at it), and then I'll probably drive home...it's only four hours back to Rochester and the weather's mild, so I'll take advantage of it.

Have a good day!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY