Spare Parts

Spare Parts                                                                   1333

Friday, July 22, 2005-1:58 A.M. (Saturday Morning)

Just got back from the House of Comedy in Niagara Falls, Canada.  It was a great show tonight, for about 60 close friends, myself, and opening act Shelley Marshall (www.shelleymarshall.com).  She's a comic from Toronto, and we worked very well together.  The club manager warned me that she was a little blue, but as it turned out, she was actually very dirty.  I thought she was hysterical, and some closers are threatened by that.  I actually welcomed working with such a strong, funny female.  After all, I'm making the big headliner bucks, so it's my job to follow her, whatever she does.  And I did.  I think her act actually set mine up by putting the audience on notice that this wasn't going to be a Sunday School class.  I enjoy doing the shows where I don't have to censor myself and I can let the wild side of me loose.

By contrast, the show the night before was a living nightmare.  It was at a resort called Sherkston Shores in Ontario, Canada, and the show was at 10 O'clock at night (a minus), it was a free show (a minus), there were underage kids in attendance even though the show was billed as R-rated (a minus) and everyone had started drinking since last Tuesday (a big minus).  One kid mouthed off, and when I jabbed him back, he got up from his table and started walking toward me like he wanted to fight me.  He looked no bigger than the broom they sweep up with at the end of the night.  I told him to back off or I was gonna give him another piercing.  He chicken-shitted right back to his table, and then it was systematically the death of the show.  The other comic, Matt Disero (www.MattDisero.com), fared no better with his comedy magic approach.  It was a throwaway show, and he came off stage soaked in sweat.  At least the money was decent.

I look forward to tomorrow's show...my mom tagged along tonight, and she's coming out tomorrow, along with my buddy Ray Salah.  I got Ray the opening spot when I headline the club in August (26th and 27th if you're in the area).  Today Ray and I hung out, and he helped me shuttle my wife's car to the muffler shop...$430 later, the car is fine, but goodbye earnings for the week.  It's a hard row to hoe in this comedy business...not to be cliched, but it's easy come, easy go.

Pam's got a big craft show tomorrow in Sodus, so I'm gonna get about 5 hours sleep, go hold her hand while she sells her wares, then clean up and drive back to Niagara Falls to do the gig tomorrow night at 9:00 P.M.  I guarantee, I'll sleep like a baby on Sunday.  Work hard, play hard....not to be cliched, of course.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY