A Pirate Looks At 40

A Pirate Looks At 40                  6065  (2125)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006-12:50 A.M.

I got my car back today; it was a good feeling and horrible at the same time....$710 after tax for emissions work on the engine.  It felt good to drive, though, like it was getting more air or something, just responding to the gas pedal and moving without hesitation.

We bought a Christmas tree for Harmony today....a small one, but an artificial one with colored lights, it's about 4 feet tall, so for Harmony, it's just right.  This is the first year that she really knows about Christmas, I think, so it felt good and right to pick it up today and set it up and watch her wonderful, beautiful brown eyes soak up the wonderment of it all.  I get maudlin, joyous, overly romantic and sullen this time of year, it's a time when I feel close to God and I lay all of my hopes and dreams at his feet and ask forgiveness for my vanity, sloth, and a host of other sins.  Buying Harmony a tree definitely makes me feel more hopeful and positive; she doesn't know about car repair bills and canceled comedy shows (and I hope she never will).

So the big news is that I turn 40 on Wednesday...the first of the three Tetta kids to cross that black line.  Nickki's happily married (after an early misfire) and working a good job in North Carolina, Chris just got a promotion at the radio station he's working at, and he'll get to work a more steady schedule so that he can enjoy time with his wife and two children.  I'm getting into a car tomorrow morning and leaving and won't return until late next Sunday night, the eve of my 6th wedding anniversary.  I've been a little wound up about this turning 40 business, and what it all means.  I read an article in a men's fitness magazine (several years ago) that described 40 as the perfect time in a man's life; knowledge and experience coupled with the physical energy to make the best use of them.  I don't know if that's true, I don't feel very energetic, much less knowledgeable or experienced.

My good friend Kevin Naughton told me, "You'll be 50 someday and wishing you were 40, so enjoy it."  That seemed kind of simple to me, but correct if not inspiring.

I have to admit that I don't know what life is.  All I know is what life isn't.

Life isn't about the foolish pursuit of wealth and material things.  High ticket electronics make you dependent on them, and then they break down.  Clothing wears and frays, and low ticket items that you think will make you happy wind up on a table at your garage sale, sold cheaply and without hesitation.

Life isn't about worrying.  Nature corrects itself, and your worry neither adds to nor subtracts from the process.  The Bible says this well, that worry will not turn one white hair on your head back to black.  It's true.

Life isn't about anger or grudges.  Most of the time, the person you are angry with or have a grudge against doesn't even know it.  So you waste your time and increase your blood pressure over someone who doesn't even know you have a problem with them.

Life isn't about waking up to alarm clocks or drinking coffee to "get going."  If you have to wake up this way, you aren't done sleeping and you're just wearing your body out and forcing your mind to operate before it's ready.  Not smart at all.

I guess I do know what life is about, maybe just a little.....life is about reconcilliation, mending fences and helping people.  Life is about listening more than talking, giving more than you expect to return, teaching what you know and learning what you can.  Gayle Sayre's book "I Am Third," which was made into the TV movie "Brian's Song" comes from a quotation of his, "God is first, my family is second and I am third."  I can't argue with that.

40 is coming and it's not a death sentence, but it is a line of demarcation in my business.  Comedy and show business worship youth, and I have none to offer anymore.  I still haven't received my big break!  And yet, the success stories of Jimmie Wiggins (google him if you don't know), Rodney Dangerfield and the likes of David Letterman and Jay Leno (who all got their breaks after the age of 40) give me inspiration and hope.  If nothing else, I've got the easiest job in the world, one that gives me satisfaction if not material reward.

Is that knowledge or wisdom, I wonder?

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY