Vacation

Vacation                                    4981  (1021)

Monday, July 10, 2006-9:00 A.M.

What a summer so far.  I usually just try to keep working through the summer, no mean feat in comedy, but this year, I decided to let the chips fall where they may and maybe enjoy some leisure time for a change.

I always considered the concept of "leisure time" as more important to the regular working slobs of the world...the folks who wake to an alarm clock, have to juggle their dayrunners to make afternoon doctor's appointments, and expect to eat dinner at the same time every day and then unwind with three to four hours of T.V. at night.

You know, losers.

I guess after 50 weeks of that horseshit, you would need two weeks off to go load up a camper and go sit by a lake or a river, or whatever mosquito farm is most relevant to that kind of activity.  And when you get back home from your two weeks away, you need a vacation week just to re-adjust, to get back into the swing of things, and Monday morning comes down like Thor's hammer.

You can have it.

I wake up whenever the hell I wake up, and then go do whatever it is I want.  My job *is* a vacation, and I go wherever I please.  If I want to see the nation's capitol, I schedule work near Washington.  If I want to see the country, I book gigs in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  If I want to go to Mardi Gras, I book shows near New Orleans.  I don't need a vacation from my job, and I look at everyone else as suckers.  I remember seeing an interview with Eddie Murphy years ago, and he said "Find a job that you love, and you'll never have to go to work."

Friday night, my mom accompanied me to Brashers Falls, NY (it's pronounced BRAY-Shers, I found out) and the Northern Lights Night Club where I was performing with Carol Pennington, head cheese over at Hysterical Management in Cleveland, Ohio.  It was a nice day for a drive through Northern New York, resplendent with all the cowshit you could smell.  Whether it was fertilizer or the smell of livestock, in some places, the scent was so strong, it changed the flavor of my drink.

The show was well-attended, with about 170 people from various towns around the county, and I had a really good show; so good, in fact, that Carol announced to me offstage, and then during her set on stage, that I was being moved up to close.  It's a big deal for me, as I'm making baby steps toward becoming a full-fledged headliner, and I like the fact that it's happening this way, good and organic, rather than me pushing or promoting myself.  I believe in letting my work do the talking and let the booking agents make the decision for themselves.  I have no lack of confidence in my abilities, but I understand that different agents have different standards, and I want them to be comfortable with their decision to move me up.  If I have nothing else, I have patience, and it's beginning to pay off.

Saturday, we did the social butterfly thing, making appearances at our friend Maria's son's birthday party, and then off to the Annette Lorenzo estate to celebrate the graduation of her daughter, Krystal.  Everything was great until Harmony did the "cranky two-year-old" thing and we had to split, but that ate up most of the day.  We headed home, and everyone took a nap but me.  I decided to head down to the Comix Cafe, my home club, and catch the late show.  I wasn't planning on doing a guest set, but dressed appropriately, and the first thing they said to me when I walked in was, "Wanna do a guest set?"

I grabbed a few minutes of stage time and hung out with Danny Liberto, Joel Lindley and Pat Duffy, the comics on the bill this week.  The crowd was typical summer stuff, lots of young kids and not a full house, but we had fun with them.  I stayed until a kid from the audience started challenging me in the bar, telling me (in Drunkenese) that he was funnier than me, and that if he stood side-by-side with me on the stage, he could be funnier than me.  Somewhere in the challenge, he dropped his beer and lost all of it, and that's pretty much when I told him I would fuck his mother in front of him and wipe my dick off on his face.  I have no tolerance for drunks, especially of the part-time comic variety.

Sunday was a nice cookout at my brother's house in Syracuse, celebrating his 38th birthday, and the last chance for mom to see her grandkids before heading back to Florida.  We had a nice time and the weather held up fine, and then it was back home to wind things up from Mom's visit, get her time to pack, and get a good night's sleep before getting her off to the airport this morning.  It wasn't so much a tear-stained goodbye, as we'll be seeing her in just a few weeks when Pam, Harmony and I make our way down to Florida for a few weeks of work I've scheduled down there.  It'll be nice, because Dad hasn't seen the baby yet, and she's almost 2 1/2, so it's high time that I made the introduction.

This week, I've got a good slate of comedy on the schedule...a Diabetes fundraiser on Thursday, and then Friday and Saturday at Cozzy's comedy club in Newport News, Virginia.  Cozzy's is a neat little weekend room, and it's always a fun time.  The fact that I'm working with my good friend Mike Dambra is just a bonus.  I get to work with Mike the week after, as well, with a couple of days at the Cleveland Improv before heading to Grand Rapids, Michigan and a three-day stand at Dr. Grin's.  Then it's a full week of headlining shows at the Comix Cafe in Rochester, a week I'm very excited about, and the Saturday afternoon is a bonus, because I'll be attending Steve Natarelli's Redneck Luau.  I get to work *and* have a social life!

God, I love my job!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY