Hot Water

Hot Water                                   4913  (953)

Saturday, July 1, 2006-10:40 A.M.

Good morning from Providence, Rhode Island.  I'm in the Ocean State, and have so far made no Peter Griffin sightings, although I might actually be turning some heads in that respect...the first day I was here, I wore a white shirt and green pants, but couldn't pull off the "chin dimple" thing.

I'm working at Catch A Rising Star, which is located in the Lincoln Park Casino, with headliner Joel Lindley.  Joel is best known for his appearances on Conan O'Brien and the Bob and Tom radio program, where they play his phone prank CD.  We made it here from Rochester (where we both currently live) in just under six hours, and we did one show Thursday night and one show last night.  The Thursday show was pretty weak, but we didn't expect 4th of July attendance to be very good, anyway.  The show was hosted by a local guy who won an open mic contest, so he was doing mostly material rather than "crowd warmup" stuff.  I delivered my feature set in a mostly conversational style to pick up the slack from that, and kept it relatively clean as not to offend the older folks in attendance.  It went well, but merchandise sales were nil, because casino audiences don't buy souvenirs.  It's usually the losers who show up to the show, the winners are still in the casino, gambling away.  Also, older people don't have CD players, or they have no desire to use the one that came with the car they bought and never drive.

Last night's show, we had Frank O'Donnell, a comedy professional, as our mc, and it made a big difference.  He ran into a wall, though, when a 60-year-old woman (celebrating her birthday) interrupted his show and told him "I don't like the 'F' word."  It totally changed the rhythm of the show, and I used the word, although in a different way.  Wheras I swear a lot in my normal everyday speech, I edited out the times when "fuck" was unnecessary.  Sometimes, it has to stay in to preserve the rhythm of the joke.  At the end of the show, Ann (her name) and the rest of her group stayed a while to talk to Joel and myself, and she complimented me that I didn't swear.  Her daughter corrected her that I did,indeed, swear, but she opined that because I wasn't crass, it wasn't as objectionable.  Perception is reality, kids...learn it and love it.

I goose-egged on product again, but got a little free nosh courtesy of the Courtyard Marriot, our lodging for the weekend.  I have a room on the third floor which for some reason has no cold water running to it.  And I don't mean that you turn the cold water on and nothing happens....I mean, you turn on the cold water and get hot water, and when you turn on the hot water, you get water so hot you could sterilize surgical implements.  It's not a big inconvenience, except in the shower where I like to rinse off with tepid water, rather than water so hot it changes my complexion.  I mentioned it to the manager at the desk before I left for the show, and when I returned, he said that they got the sink fixed, but the shower situation wasn't straightened out.  I had intended on purchasing a Philly Steak hot pocket and a diet Sierra Mist from the little pantry/gift shop they had in the lobby, and for my trouble, he allowed me the items complimentary.  It was a nice, customer-service and friendly gesture.

Tonight, we have two shows, and then we motor back to Rochester, arriving sometime in the morning, and I need to get a little shut-eye to prepare for the big picnic out at Oatka Creek Lodge.  If you're reading this and didn't recieve an invitation for whatever reason, you're still invited, so call me for directions and I'll get you there.  It should be big fun, as it is every year, and I'll be sacrificing hamburgers and hotdogs on a charcoal grill to the gods of Summer.

And far be it for me to close out this entry without wishing a congratulations to Carol Pennington of Hysterical Management in Cleveland, Ohio, who is getting married on July 4th.  I'll be working with her in Brashers Falls, NY this week, which should be her honeymoon week by any account, and we should have a fun time of it.

I hope to see you at the picnic tomorrow, and if not, you'll still be in my thoughts.  Have a great weekend!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY