Teacher, Teacher

Teacher, Teacher                                      2242

Saturday, November 12, 2005-12:16 A.M. (Sunday morning)

What a difference a day makes, huh?

After last night's debacle, which was so demoralizing I was ready to quit the comedy business, I come back swinging.  And it felt good.

I started out my day late, slept in nice and comfy in a Sheraton Hotel bed...the most comfortable in the hotel business (Ritz Carlton is #2, but only by a little...Hilton beds are soft, but the sheets are scratchy...what the fuck, Hilton?).  After showering and mugging the hotel housekeeper's cart for extra shampoos and tissue, I went to the mall and walked around.  I got a little excercise, and then headed southwest to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to visit one Jared Horning and his lovely wife Cindy for dinner.  Jared is an aspiring standup comedian who came and visited me in Harrisburg at the Comedy Zone last month, and he knew I would be in the area this week, and invited me to his house for a sumptuous baked ziti 'n' meatballs dinner.  And as you know, no Italian can refuse a baked ziti dinner.  After a nice meal, we talked comedy and I watched his tape, and it was very good.  The young man has a flair for comedy, but is frustrated at the lack of opportunities in his neck of the woods.  I may be able to help in this instance, even with my limited connections.  I will post more as the situation develops.  He had taken a standup comedy course, and was very disenchanted with the instructor and the material that was presented, and I happen to have taught comedy in the past, so I said I would set him up with my class notes and hopefully set the young man off in the right direction.  Actually, he has good comic instincts, he just needs the repetition of regular stage time.

Anyway, after a nice conversation, Cindy sent me away with a lovely care package of food for later.  The nice folks at the Sheraton actually delivered a microwave oven to my room to heat the meal up, which I enjoyed between shows tonight.  It was truly awesome, and a welcome change from the usual fast food garbage that I regularly throw down my throat.

First show was a by-the-numbers affair, and I was pleased with my performance.  It was nice to get that hell-gig monkey off my back from the night before.  Second show was a whole different situation.  I went long, which is a terrible habit that I have, but the crowd was fertile to work and I had some new stuff to get out, and I actually called back a joke I didn't even do.  That's almost as bad as doing a joke twice, and I've done that before.  There was a guy who I called Limp Bizkit because he was a big, knit cap-wearing sumbitch, and a guy who looked like the Smith Brothers cough drop guy, but he was a Math professor of Italian descent named Phil.  I promise you I'm not making any of this up.  Then there was Terry, a nice girl sitting stage right who has the same birthday as me, next Tuesday the 15th.  I did 5 jokes and still went way overtime.  I really need to figure this standup comedy stuff out.

Anyway, whereas merchandise sales were a long sweet suck off the goose egg schwantz last night, I did pretty well this evening.  Gotta butter the toast somehow.  I'm finding that DVD's aren't necessarily the big seller I thought they were, and I'm leaning towards getting a shirt done.  I'll have to start strip-mining my act and think of something that will capture the hearts and minds of the souvenir-buying public.  Again, I'll let you know how that works out.

Nice night's sleep beckons, and a harmless (knock, knock) ride home tomorrow.  Have a good weekend.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY