Selling The Drama

Selling The Drama                               1891

Monday, October 3, 2005-10:55 P.M.

Ouch.  It always takes me a day of rest to recuperate from a long-ass drive across America.  Today was veggie day, which meant I vegetated.  Actually, I did go to the Post Office and conducted some business, because I am driven and obsessive, but believe me, I didn't do much more than that.  I did treat Pam and Harmony to a little home-made stir fry, one of my specialties, with broccoli, mushroom, onion, tofu and Chinese vegetables.  It's surprising that I'm not healthier, I eat like a Buddhist monk when I'm home....too bad I'm not home more often.

I almost got the hall pass for a week in December...the Comedy Zone in Norfolk, VA went belly-up, leaving me dry for a week.  Now the big decision...stay home a couple weeks before Christmas, or try to refill the date and make the money?  Survey says....make the money!  A quick e-mail to my boy Tony Gigliotti in Niagara Falls, and the date was replaced as quick as you can say "Holiday Headliner."  The money's not as good as what I lost, but I'm employed and basically home two weeks before Christmas.  It's like a bonus to be able to work, and still have time for the wife and child!  For a day when I really needed the rest, it was still business as usual.

The drive home from St. Cloud, Minnesota, was fraught with traffic jams, bad weather, and just an overwhelming distance.  In Chicago, the rain came down like it was Noah's Ark, and the cars were sliding into the guard rails two by two.  Luckily, I keep five to ten delineations between me and the cars behind me, so I'm usually safe.  The weather was nice for a cross-country drive, but I didn't bring enough music with me, so I had to listen to the 1992 Bob Dylan tribute album twice...it's a great collection, with artists like Johnny Cash, Stevie Wonder, Johnny Winter, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Tracy Chapman, Richie Havens, Lou Reed, Eddie Vedder and Stone Gossard from Pearl Jam, Roger McGuinn from the Byrds, and Neil Young, all paying tribute to Bob Dylan through his own songs.  It's a nice album, lots of different musical styles, and recorded live so there's no breaks between songs, and it makes for a good continuous listening experience when you want to just go on autopilot and drive straight ahead without fixating on the fact that you're still 800 miles from home.  For the record, the total mileage of the drive home was 1,114. 

The shows in St. Cloud, which I realize I failed to report on, were good.  Friday's show was a little better attended than Saturday's show, but I liked Saturday's show better.  The weird thing was that the Saturday crowd was almost completely made up of women.  There was a bachelorette party of about 25 women on one side of the room, and a large group of young ladies on the other side of the room who didn't seem to realize that there was a comedy show going on until I took the stool on stage, dragged it all the way over towards their table, sat down, and started addressing my entire act directly at them until they realized that they were not anonymous and couldn't talk to each other at their table without fear of repercussion.  It was a softer, nicer way of saying "shut the hell up" than I usually use, and it worked well.  I know the rest of the audience appreciated it.

Tomorrow I'm shooting a commercial for an auto glass company...this will be the second auto glass commercial on my TV resume, and the third commercial overall.  I think I'm getting typecast, but that's o.k., because typecast actors get all the work when their type is being cast.  It's an 8:00 A.M. call, which I'm not excited about, but the money's good so I'm not bitching.  I'll check in tomorrow with all the neato details.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY