Selling The Drama

Selling The Drama                                                               1416

Saturday, August 6, 2005-7:03 P.M.

Good evening...this seems funny to me, because I typed this journal entry this morning and then erased it, and decided rather than retype it on the spot, to do it again later.  I guess I thought I wasn't in the correct frame of mind to do it over, and maybe I was right.

Yesterday, I got up early to make the 8:00 A.M. opening of the service department at Valley Cadillac to get my car roughed into shape for the road.  I'll be taking it there when I get back from Wisconsin, in about two weeks, for the final inspection ready body work it will need.  In the meantime, it ain't pretty, but it's getting me where I have to go.

I rolled into Wilkes Barre, PA after receiving two disturbing phone calls...both of them cancellations.  One of them is screwing up my Florida trip, so Harmony isn't going to be able to meet her grandfather, my dad, the elder Ralph Tetta.  This is the second time this year my plans have been altered, and I don't like it, not to mention the missing money.  I have to scramble for work.  And because most comedy bookings are a handshake contract, there's no recourse for me except to hope some scraps fall on my plate that week.  It's an ugly feeling, to say the least.  The other cancellation is a one-nighter in Indianapolis that was going to fill in a day off, and not for great money, but it was a headlining spot, which I'm trying to do more of.  I can talk for that amount of time, but I'm not getting enough repetitions to where I'm developing a theme, and I can get tired at the end of the set, which isn't good because you want to finish strong.

Last night's show was a victim of an under-rested Ralphie.  I was all over the board and ran long, luckily there was only one show and the headliner was amiable.  His name is Jimmy Graham from New Jersey, and we hit it off great, partially because I found his wallet full of DVD's in the hallway of the hotel we're staying at, and returned it to him after the show.  Ralph earns his points the old fashioned way; through wanton brown-nosery.  Anyway, the show was good, if not well-attended, with about 46 people in the room, including a bachelorette party with whom I had my way (not that way, ya pig!).  And they fed me a nice Italian sandwich, which I enjoyed, half at the club and half later back at the hotel.

I was woken this morning by the stupid alarm clock going off at 5:30 A.M....I swear to God, I didn't set it, and this happens to me and everyone I know in every hotel in the world...I think the housekeeping staff does it as a bad joke, or to get everyone up and out of the hotel so they can clean the rooms and go home.  Or just to piss us off.  Whichever, I wound up rising earlier than usual, and started planning my attack.  I picked up a local paper yesterday and found that several churches were holding rummage sales today, including St. Ignatius, which was doing it "bag style;" they give you a shopping bag, and you fill it up with whatever you want for $3, or two bags for $5.  I bought three bags of books, and spent the morning back at the room listing them on half.com, a subsidiary of e-bay.  I spent a total of $5 on books I thought I would sell, plus another bag of children's books for my daughter.  I am happy to report that the first sale already came in, a title called Biblical Themes For Pastoral Care that sold for $9.95.  I've already paid for the lot!  And the 38 books I listed today, if they all sell, will realize a total of about $125.  That's a solid investment, I don't care who you are.

So there's one show tonight, which I will prepare for soon, and then the four-hour drive back home, and a nice couple of days off before the two-week trek to Wisconsin with fellow comic Ray Salah in tow.  And tonight is the pre-season kickoff for the Buffalo Bills, my 25-year love affair with the bridesmaid of all bridesmaids.  Oddly enough, they play the Green Bay  Packers on the Saturday's eve before my excursion to Packerland, so hopefully I'll be able to go out there with my head held high.

Hey, it's just a game, right?

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY