Call Me A Dog

Call Me A Dog                                                                      1125

Friday, June 10, 2005-1:01 P.M.

Good afternoon from Lady Lake Public Library in Lady Lake, Florida. (www.ladylakelibrary.com)  Ray Salah and I are having a fine time down here in Florida as part of our Southeastern tour.  Wednesday night, we performed at Gilly's 44 in New Smyrna Beach, Florida.  It's a nice little sportsbar/restaurant, and they draw well for comedy.  Ray had a nice set up front, and then despite a few hecklers who really didn't get the whole "I'm at a comedy show and ought to shut my fucking mouth" thing,  I had an enjoyable time doing my one-hour set, which I rarely get to do.  I remember when I first became a feature, I knew I was really ready to be in that position when I would come off stage and think to myself, "Oh, damn,  I forgot that bit," or "I forgot that set of jokes."  Well, I'm happy to report that that exact thing happened to me on Wednesday.  I didn't do any fluff or filler, I did jokes that I wrote, and after an hour, still had pieces that I forgot to do.  Any self doubts that I had in that respect are gone.  It's a very good feeling.

Last night was a night off, so Ray and I decided to venture up to Daytona Beach, home of the Daytona Kennel Club and poker room.  Ray played in a couple of poker tournaments, culminating in a "bad beat" when his pocket aces got cracked by some redneck asshole who decided he was "chip rich" enough to play a 5-6 off-suit, and then caught a straight on the river.  I was there for it, and it wasn't a pretty sight.  I bet on the dog races, which is unusual, because I never even bet on horses before.  It's pretty easy, which makes me understand even less how people could be so worked up over it.  I placed a total of 15 two-dollar bets over the course of 13 races, and won back 12 of my 30 dollars.  So it turned out to be 18 dollars worth of fun and education.  It's actually really exciting watching the dogs haul ass around that track...those puppies can RUN.  And lest you think the dogs are mistreated, they are only allowed to run one race every three days, andthey are kept well, brushed and petted and loved.  There was one young lady who was taking her dog around inside the building where you make your bets, and the dog was getting more than her share of love and attention.  It was a real eye-opener of an experience, especially since there were a lot of families in attendance last night.  I wouldn't have thought that a racetrack would have made the cut for family entertainment, but at only a one-dollar admission cost, where else are you gonna take a family of five for an evening's diversion?  Also, they had hot dogs, nachos, ice cream, pretzels, popcorn, sodas and beers at the snack bar, and I got a double cheese nacho dish and got a nice big cheese stain on my white shirt.  Fun times, fun times.

Tonight, we have a show in Weeki Wachee, Florida, which I never heard of before, but it's on the Gulf Coast on route 19.  It should be a good time.  I'm looking forward to that, as well as the gig tomorrow night in Homosassa Springs, which I did last year and had a great time with.

Today, it's thrift store shopping and hopefully a comic book shop.  If not, plenty of time this weekend to make it happen.

Pet a dog today.  They truly are man's best friend.  And if the spirit moves you, send five bucks to an animal shelter (or adopt a stray).  Every dog deserves a nice home, or at least a place where they can run and run and run.

Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY