Take The Money And Run

Take The Money And Run

Tuesday, March 15, 2005-12:30 A.M.

Well, it's nice to be home after my 1200 mile, 20 hour drive from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  An overview of the last two weeks at the Rivercenter Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas  and the Tulsa Comedy Club gives the tour an overall rating of 7 out of 10 points.

The accomodations for both clubs leave a lot to be desired, particularly the cockroach activity in the Tulsa comedy condo.  I understand that I'm not the top rung of the entertainment ladder, but I deserve better than to be lodged in a roach-infested, unclean apartment.  The San Antonio condo was clean but shabby, and very, very small.  A coffin actually has more elbow room.  I dropped the soap in the shower and had to step out into the hallway to pick it up (no lie).

The clubs, however, are excellent, with great crowds and great staffs.....it's a puzzlement that the accomodations are so shabby, you'd think someone would speak up.  Ah well.  At least the money was good.  By my count, I actually made almost double the money I would have made at the northern clubs that I usually play.  I'll probably go back, but I'll do a more exhaustive search for a cheap airfare next time.  And on the condition that the condo is clean when I get to Tulsa.

I came up with a funny line at the bar Saturday night.  They were talking about the south, and someone said, "Don't they still burn books in Mississippi?" and I said "They don't burn books in Mississippi, they burn authors."  It got a good laugh.  I might add it into the set somewhere, just haven't figured out where.

Diet Lime Coke is my new beverage when Diet Peach Snapple Iced Tea cannot be found.  I like it, and I like their new commercial "You put the lime in the Coke, you nut."  It's catchy.  I also like the Chevy commercial with the Yardbirds song "Under Over Sideways Down" in it.  The Yardbirds rock, and if you're not familiar with them, and you're older than eight, catch up, lame-o.  They're awesome.

And while I'm at it, I have to say that I'm really starting to like the Daily Show, but I'm having problems with Samantha Bee and others who interview clueless people and really rake them over the coals.  It's not very brave, and I get very uncomfortable and resentful watching them do it.  You don't make yourself look good by tearing down others, especially thelow.  It's part of a trend that I've noticed where every comic out of Los Angeles is just mean for no reason, and it's the weakest defense mechanism for self-hatred that I've ever seen.  Really, people, you can be funny without hurting people, can't you?  The comedy of ridicule is something you should have gotten over in the seventh grade.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY