You Can't Always Get What You Want

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Monday, March 21, 2005-1:47 A.M. (Tuesday morning, really)

Weekend recap of my continuous comedy tour, which I'm thinking of calling the "Feed My Family" tour, because I want a cute name for the tour like the rock stars get.  I performed last night at the Rochester Comix Café with Steve Burr and Ray Salah and it felt good to get on the old stage and really just goof around and have fun.  However, unlike my usual hosting tendency when I used to run the joint, I actually stuck to my time, to the surprise of everyone in the back of the room.  My favorite line of all time germaine to my overtime antics was contributed by one Steve Burr a few years ago when he said, "Remember the time we had to bring in the Sun to give Ralph the light to get him offstage?"  I know I'm mangling the original wording, which was brilliant, and is the perfect roast joke if I ever get a roast.  I've been watching the Jeff Foxworthy roast on Comedy Central and it looks like great fun...I wonder if I could get a roast-type show at the Cafe?  We could do a yearly event for charity, and roast a local celebrity.  Ah, well, I can continue to dream.

Today I went to our pediatrician's office with Pamela and the lovely Harmony Rose.  Harmony had three shots for mumps, rubella and the like, and a blood test for lead poisoning, which I guess is pretty routine.  I love our pediatrician because she had a baby just a few months after we did, so she's very sensitive to our experience, and it's fresh and new to her, rather than just being textbook knowledge and whatever pediatric field work you have to go through to become a doctor.  I hope I didn't just make that sound trivial, but again, I'm saying that Dr. Wirt is really good and makes me feel comfortable when I bring my daughter in for a checkup.

Taco Bell fucked me again...same location as the other night, but this time, I paid for a drink I didn't get because I asked for Diet Pepsi and they were out. The drink didn't get removed from the order, so I got nothing, and paid for it.  Even more annoying than paying for something and having it prepared improperly, I say!  So I threw the horns on them....that's a good Italian curse, also known as the malocchia (mal-AWK-ya), or evil eye, which if applied correctly, will cause someone's lawn to turn black, a boil to appear on their ass, and their business to fail.

Here's to your green lawn, your boil-free ass, and your prosperous business, gentle reader.  Thanks for dropping by.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY