Time

Time

Tuesday, February 15, 2005-5:31 PM

Well, if everything was the way it was supposed to be, this would be the 39th anniversary of my conception, but it isn't.  I was born on November 15th, 1966 at about two minutes to midnight.  If you count back nine months, this is the conception day, February 15th.  Except I was born premature by about six weeks.  I do a small joke about this in my act which I won't repeat here, but nonetheless, Happy Late Valentine's day to you all.

One of the curses of being a road comic is that you spend A LOT of time away from home.  Time that can be better spent in the company of loved ones, getting things done at home that cannot be achieved on the road, etc.  It's become a problem for me, especially in light of the 11-month-old baby.  I still haven't really put her nursery together, much less cut out the space in which it will (hopefully) soon occupy.  Being away, I can only be so productive, as Sunday is usually a travel day home from wherever, and by Wednesday morning, I'm looking at packing and getting the hell out to wherever I'm going.

On the road, time is the enemy.  You can try to kill it off sitting in the hotel or the condo, but this leads to a lot of bad habits; drug and alcohol use, excessive self-pleasuring, consumption of excess vending foods and beverages, and over the recommended daily allotment of daytime television.

The wise road comic uses his time wisely, either writing, excercising, making business phone calls, or soaking up the local culture at the library (where there is free internet service to be had).  I like to go mall walking, it's less strenuous than gym workouts, and allows me to find good bargains every so often.  Every mall has a dollar store, where every so often I find a good remaindered book that will provide me with hours of reading entertainment for only, well, a dollar.  I found a copy of ex-New York State Governor Mario Cuomo's book "Reason To Believe" in a dollar store, and I'm sorry I didn't buy two copies, because I read it, loved it, and gave it to a friend, and now I wish I had it back because I have two more friends I want to give it to.

Work time is fleeting, or so it seems.   When you're onstage and doing well, time flies, when you're bombing, time drags.  I have to become more disciplined in my management of time onstage and stop making excuses to be self-serving. 

Discipline is rewarded and failure to be disciplined is reprimanded.  I will learn or suffer the consequences.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY