Evil Woman

Evil Woman

Wednesday, February 23, 2005-11:41 P.M.

Just getting back from doing a show at Absolute Comedy in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I wound up in the closing spot (20-25 minutes) due to a scheduling error.  It was a very interesting night; there were several comics of the open mic stripe, as well as some pros hitting the stage, and tonight was a benefit for a school that works with people overcoming chemical dependencies.  I threw a few bucks into the kitty myself, but it was Canadian funds, so I have no idea how much I really gave.

The centerpiece of the night was a young lady seated in the back of the room who decided it would help the show if she went "Whoooooo!" really loudly during each setup or rhetorical question a comic would do.  I decided after the club manager told me that she had been told to be quiet that I would deal with her.

I jabbed her a few times with what I thought were pretty mainstream heckler lines.....well, actually, I think I might have implied that she was a whore.  Anyway, there was one line that really upset her, something to the effect that I wouldn't let her blow me because I hadn't brought any penicillin.  She made it a point to come up to me at the end of the show and voice her displeasure, but no amount of apologies on my part were going to plow through the alcohol in her system and make things right.  Regardless, I explained to her that she had been told to be quiet, and by interrupting my show, she was fair game.  I don't think she understood that.  I compared it to someone who goes to the movies and waves their hands in front of the projector, and she replied "It wouldn't bother me if someone did that."  OK, you're an idiot, conversation is over.  She made a point of walking near me every chance she could get to confront me, and I got so annoyed I just left the club.  This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened, but it does signify that I really let her have it, vs. in the past where I would have just lectured her and made the whole room get quiet.  It's quite different.

My big problem tomorrow is finding a gas station...I drove around for about half an hour tonight trying to find one, hopefully with a mini-mart attached to it, but it was a labor of futility.  I did manage to find a pizzeria that was open, and a nice hot salami sandwich with a litre-sized diet Coke was my reward.  I believe this will be a fun week in the nation's capital, I even found a copy of today's paper that had been discarded (call me a hobo if you will, but I couldn't find a place to buy a paper, so I really don't care what you think).

Also, I received an e-mail from someone who I think is either one of my all-time standup comedy favorites, or someone just kidding around with me.  Either way, I'm glad that someone is reading this journal.  If you are, make sure to drop me an e-mail to say hello, and of course, your feedback is always welcome.

An extra special hello to Steve Burr and Lamar Williams, who I understand just landed a spot on the "Comics On Duty" tour and will both be entertaining our troops in Iraq.  I am green with envy, but I couldn't think of two better guys to go and do that job.  Check out Steve at www.steveburrcomedy.com or Lamar at www.lamarwilliamscomedy.com and check out their journals and what they have to say.

 

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY