You're Gonna Get Yours

You're Gonna Get Yours                           4183

Friday, June 20, 2008-9:10 A.M.

Well, I'd like to make an official correction.  I originally reported that the Comix Cafe was closed by the IRS...that turned out to not be the case.

The club was, in fact, due to be evicted from their space and the liquor board pulled the club's license.  In the bar and restaurant business, you have to have a wholesale distributor provide any alcohol that you offer for resale; you can't just go buy it at a liquor store and stock your bar.  The club had not been receiving product from any of the major distributors in Rochester, voiding the liquor license.

The IRS most likely would have been next, as the club has had self-proclaimed tax liabilities for at least a year; the owner told me that himself but assured me that "things were getting back on track."  Plans to move to another venue are reportedly in play, but liquor licenses are specific to premises, so it's not like you could just take the old license and go somewhere else.....it doesn't work that way.

In other news, I'm in sunny Florida, driving around in my newly acquired road vehicle, a black Toyota Camry.  It's great on gas, comforable as my old Corolla (RIP), and even though it is a pre-owned vehicle, shows little wear.  I took off Wednesday morning for Bluefield, West Virginia, and an engagement at Kelsey's, where I worked with Kris Shaw from Indianapolis.  The crowd was a typical Kelsey's crowd, but I tried to enjoy myself anyway.  Thursday, I got four hours of sleep before I had to start heading south to Tallahassee, a 10-hour drive.  Wednesday's drive was nine hours, and today I'm looking forward not to be driving around.  I also fell victim to the "black car curse;" the idea that red, black and white cars are pulled over for speeding disproportionately.  I drew a speeding ticket in Virginia, which I am adding to my growing collection.  I did find out that everything's cheaper in Virginia than the rest of the country; gas is running $3.77 there versus $4 or more everywhere else, and the ticket was only $131 versus an average of around $160 everywhere else.  Shoot, I may have to move there.

Last night I appeared at the Comedy Zone in Tallahassee.  It is an excellent club, laid out to exact specifications by Mr. Heffron of the main office.  As an individual with comedy club management experience, I can say without a doubt that the club couldn't be designed any more efficiently, from the location of the bathrooms  to the layout of the kitchen and service bar, to the customer's-eye view from the front door to their seat in the showroom.  Everything is designed to provide an overall great comedy experience for the audience.

My show?  I was road-weary from my two consecutive marathon sessions in the vehicle and inadequate sleep, but I was still satisfied with what I put on stage.  I got two applause breaks (I left out a new bit that has been money in the bank lately, to my chagrin) and got bags of kudos after the show.  I'm not one to pat myself on the back, but it's become painfully obvious to me that in this business, there aren't exactly a lot of folks lining up to do it, so in the interest of keeping my morale up in the face of $4 gas and flagging profits, I'll bend my elbow and do it myself.

After the show, a good number of folks hungout, and that's a good indicator of how well the show went.  I didn't watch headliner Will Marfori, opting instead to park my carcass at the bar and enjoy some chicken wings, and suck down diet Cokes, hoping the caffeine would keep me awake and alert enough to do the meet-'n'-greet after the show.  That's an old Yuk Yuk's trick I learned way back in the day; after the show, always be available in the front lounge to pal around with guests, it adds to their overall comedy club experience.  It also doesn't hurt when you're trying to sell your CD or DVD after the show.

I wound up hanging around with Jay, the mc for the week, and a group of women who were in town for training for some sort of computer criminology field.  They tried their best to explain to me in detail what it was they did, but I missed most of it because I am not technical in nature and writing this blog is as deep into computers as I get.  They introduced themselves as Kara, Mara and Dara (their real names) but I already gave them my own nicknames, Jiggles, Princess, Mom, Sarge, and the two Quiet Girls.  They were fun folks, and I'm glad the club is drawing such excellent numbers, with an almost sell-out crowd on a Thursday night.  A tip of my hat to all involved, and to Paul, the manager, who made me feel more comfortable than I am in my own home (specifically, he didn't ask me to do dishes or cut the lawn).

I'm in Tallahassee for the next two days, and then it's off to Fort Walton Beach, the site of last year's unfortunate "Ralph trapped in the men's room stall with no toilet paper" episode.  Suffice to say, I'm going to be more careful this year.

Happy Summer to you all!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY