Selling The Drama

Selling The Drama                                4004

Friday, June 6, 2008-10:15 P.M.

Good evening, bitches.

That's how my good friend Chad Riden from Tennessee sometimes greets his audience when he's hosting a standup comedy show somewhere across the United States.  I thought I would use it in my blog because I'm not working any-damn-where this week.

My comment earlier tonight to my wife after looking back on the week is that it's been like a vacation, but without that irritating vacation pay to have to deal with.  Other professions get one, maybe two weeks paid vacation a year.  Standup comics are independent contractors and have no such luxury.  This week just happened to be a week off because no work presented itself and try as I might, I was able to scratch no employment out of the dirt.

So, the lemons equals lemonade formula dictates that I treat the week as an opportunity.

Sunday was a travel day home from Charleston, West Virginia.  The trip was only about eight hours but it ate up most of the day.  I got my rental car back to the airport a couple of hours early, and then Pam and Harmony and I went out for a bite to eat.

Monday, we hit the ground runnin' and opened an eBay store.  I have a huge collection of heavy metal magazines from the 80's, heavy metal albums from the 80's (many of which were small, independent labels that only produced 1,000 or so copies and hence said albums can be considered rare), and comic books I've been collecting for almost 35 years.  We spent a good deal of time listing those items, and scanning and listing the items at top speed still only let us put about 10 or 11 items up at a time.  If you're interested in having a look-see, you can go here: eBay Store - Collector's Comics and Magazines:  If for some reason the link doesn't work, feel free to cut and paste this -> http://stores.ebay.com/Collectors-Comics-and-Magazines_W0QQssPageNameZl2QQtZkm into your browser.  Or e-mail me if you're looking for anything specific.  Chances are good that I have it and just haven't listed it yet.

We started looking for replacement cars today; my Corolla's been dead for over a year and I've really been dragging my feet looking for a replacement.  We looked at a few different cars, test-drove three or four, but haven't found anything we liked yet that's really in our price range.  I'm a no-frills kind of guy; if I have to crank a window open by hand, I'm good with that.  I've never been stuck with a crank window frozen into the "down" position, and a good pouring rain running down my neck as I tried to figure out how to get the sucker back up.  Power windows, power locks and power mirrors to me are all things that can go faulty on you....it's just more stuff to have to repair as the car gets older.  Pam feels that power everything is "basic" to what a car should have, below that you might as well be on a Greyhound Bus.  Sometimes I wonder where the good old-fashioned girl I married went off to....

I nailed down some more work this week, which is always cool, even though I'm "on vacation."  My upcoming Summer tour to Florida is shaping up to be a good one, with plenty of work while I'm down there.  I cut back the tour this year to three weeks based solely on the fact that that was all the work I could scrounge for that period of time.  I'll have a weekend off when I get back to prepare for the big Tetta/Davis annual picnic, this year taking place at Powdermills Park.  The flyer looks like this:

SAVE THE DATE! YOU ARE INVITED TO THE

"SORT-OF-ANNUAL-DAVIS/TETTA-FAMILY-&-FRIENDS-PICNIC."

 

SUNDAY, JULY 13TH, 2008, we have rented the

RAND LODGE at POWDER MILLS PARK.

Pam and Ralph will start the grill at high noon,

and will begin partying around 12:30pm-ish.

We will continue to party until 9pm-ish.

(As you are in the inner circle, you already know that all of Pam's times are "ish"...)

 

We supply the hamburgers and hotdogs for this shindig,

and we ask that everyone bring a small dish/dessert to pass.

Chocolate is always in good taste...

 

There will be games to play and gossip to dish all day long!

Drop in when you can, leave when you want!

This is a fun and relaxing time to hang-out and

enjoy a nice summer day at a friendly soiree!

 

Please RSVP BY JULY 11TH

as to how many will be coming with you,

so we'll know how much to buy.

 

This is THE EVENT OF THE SEASON!

Don't miss it!

 

Also, please update us with your mailing address,

so we can be sure to keep you on the Christmas Card list too! :)

 

And, if you need directions, check out the Powder Mills Park website to:

Get driving directions to the park.
(You'll need to use YOUR address, unless you're starting at our place.)
Download the park map.

Seriously, if I can find work for that weekend that's close to home, I'm gonna take it....vacations are for people who hate their jobs.  I happen to love mine.

Tomorow, we're heading to Syracuse to see my new niece, Victoria Anne Tetta.  I know I'll be climbing the walls by Saturday night with no gig to go to, but I'll get over it.  It's like when I give a blood sample every three months at my doctor's office....it hurts, I don't like it, but it's quick and then I get back to my life.

Maybe somewhere along the line, I'll actually get some writing done that matters.  That was a goal for the week, and it's been largely (actually, totally) ignored in favor of taking my daughter to the park, spending time with my wife, and doing some Hazel-the-maid tasks around the house.  And that's not such a bad thing; I probably wasn't going to write the new "For Whom The Bell Tolls" this week, or even "Salem's Lot."  I do, however, have a series of "radio plays" that I want to get down on paper, and then get some voice talents to perform them and put out a CD.  I have some great ideas, including a sketch that addresses the George Carlin debate, "Can rape be funny?"  I think I have an idea that broaches the subject tastefully and draws the comedy out in a way that's never been done before.  I just have to write it.

O.K., I'm gonna stop blogging now and go write it.  Thanks for reading.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY