Time The Avenger

Time The Avenger                                         3792

Saturday, May 3, 2008-9:53 A.M.

Good morning from the insular and provincial town of Greensboro, North Carolina.  I've been such a lazy bum about blogging lately, I think a lot of people might have assumed that I've just given it up.  Lately, there hasn't seemed to have been much to write about, and those few and far between incidents that have been noteworthy haven't been enough to send me to my computer.

It's been three weeks since my last blog, and among other noteworthy accomplishments, my webguy Bruce took me out and shot a video bio which now resides at my website (www.ralphtetta.com) and it's really good....I'm impressed that he did such a good job with the limited source material I was able to provide.  I visited my old school, Monroe Community College where I spent four years pursuing a two-year degree.  The school has changed A LOT since I left there in 1991 and the improvements don't necessarily feel better....the student center, which was the home of the radio station, and a hive of activity during the day, is now split up, the student organization offices are pushed down nondescript hallways and the only reason to visit is if you were a member of said organizations....not exactly the best positioning for recruiting new members or promoting on-campus events.

I packaged my two old CD's into a box set and designed a new cover artwork for it, and a companion box artwork for my DVD.  I like them a lot, and did them in a punk/DIY style, courtesy of the color copiers at Kinko's.  So far, sales have been down, but I attribute that to the lagging economy and warmer weather that's setting in that characteristically kills the comedy club business.

I have some new audio software on my laptop now, again thanks to Bruce, and will start doing a podcast very soon.  I've been letting some ideas simmer and actually, Jeff Schneider from the Pittsburgh Funny Bone has been doing pieces on YouTube that are very similiar to what I've been thinking about doing, going for the funny and making a point at the same time (search for Le Provocateur on YouTube, you'll find him).  The battle of course is that there is only so much time in the day to spend with family, travel, exercise, eat healthy, and try to keep a full calendar to keep the wolves from the door.  I'm experiencing "role strain" (google it if you didn't take sociology) and at some point, some of the less important stuff is just going to have to go to the back burner if not in storage all together...the sad truth is that it will probably be vocational projects which will cause my family to suffer financially, but the alternative is letting my family go on without my full attention, and vice-versa, and at that point, what's the use?  I can put my family in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and then never be there to enjoy it with them.

My newest vocational projects (glad you asked) are compiling my old road blogs into a book, with some after-the-fact commentary and some editing (how many sandwiches can you read about in one book?) to give the narrative some flow.  I'm not sure how marketable the thing is, but it's already written and it can only help my career from a promotional standpoint.  I'm in a different town every week anyway, so I might as well kill my daytime hours sitting at a card table in front of Border's while people walk by and pretend not to see me.

In addition, I have a plan to break open the college market, but I need to get across the angle that I'm a good fit for the non-traditional college students, ie: older, returning students who would relate to me and my material.  I think that my constant touring has created an act that is virtually bulletproof in front of any group, but the sad truth is that when you play in front of an entire group of college-aged students, they will reject you out of hand if you look old, and I do look old, if not completely, tragically unfashionable.  I have a tendency to earn my bones with such audiences by going completely, out-and-out vulgar if not disgustingly filthy, which is o.k., because that's the humor that I enjoy, but I feel like I have so much more to offer...my new bio describes my act as "improvisational," and that's a huge key to what I've been doing on stage during this second act of my career, so I need to capitalize on it.

Oh yeah, I probably should mention that I celebrate 20 years doing comedy this month.  It was May of 1988 when I first climbed on stage at Yuk Yuk's in Rochester, NY, on a Wednesday night, to do open mike.  I'm not totally sure what exact day it was, but I do know that it was a Wednesday and my life changed inexorably that day.  I thought of doing something special this month to commemorate the occasion, but decided against it because it is only a milestone to me, and marks merely the passage of time rather than some sort of career goal.  I'm not a better comic for the time in the business, but some would rather assert that I'm a poorer one, or as my tax preparer said to me this year, "How come you're not doing better?"  My solace comes in my assertion that the longer it takes you to go up the showbiz ladder, the longer it takes you to come down.

My tax preparer is a great guy, and he invited me to Passover dinner this year...it was my first Seder, and I enjoyed the meal and the company.  The funniest line of the night was from Mark, our host, when I asked if there was a song for the soup, he called from the kitchen "MMMM MMMM Good, MMMM MMMM Good!"  It was completely quick and not lost on the largely middle-aged group that was assembled.  My best line of the night was commenting on now knowing the rites of the Passover dinner was that I "now know the Seder House Rules."  Yeah, it's a stupid pun, but it got the response.  Hey, if they're laughing, I'm working.

Other news to mention is that our annual picnic is July 13th this year, and we're renting out a lodge, although not the normal one, and invitations will be going out soon with directions.  It's particularly important this year, given the passings of Mike Glosek and Tiny Glover, and the illness of our brother Mike Irwin, that we come together at least once to see each other and celebrate our fraternity as comics.  And my wife's friends will be there, too, so that it doesn't get to be a boring afternoon of "shop talk."

Speaking of shop talk, I'm going back to Las Vegas for the first time in a few years, courtesy of Summit Comedy.  I'll be playing at a casino on Fremont Street for Labor Day weekend....good vacation weekend, should be a lot of tourists.  I'm looking forward to it.  Also, I rebooked San Antonio for August, because I just don't sweat enough and I want to see what my body's tolerance for dehydration is.  I also lined up a couple of headlining weekends in Tyson's Corners, Virginia, and Jackson, Tennessee, and while those might not sound too impressive, it feels good to me because it makes me think that the train is going in the right direction.

I'm working with the very funny Mo Alexander this week in Greensboro, and it's Free Comic Book Day so we might venture out for said Free Comics.  Other cool comics I've worked with this last few weeks include Last Comic Standing's Rich Vos, Grand Rapids' own Stu MacAlister, Buddy Flip (hey, we're already friends!), David Landau and Dave Logan....all gentlemen and scholars.....o.k., one was a cranky scholar, but I won't tell you which one.

Iron Man opened yesterday, and I am Iron Man (check my myspace profile at www.myspace.com/rabidralph for details) so I might check it out today.

Peace out, y'all.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY