Long Cold Winter

Long Cold Winter                    6864  (82)

Monday, February 12, 2007-11:45 A.M.

Here in Rochester, the snow's falling....not like it's falling in Oswego, NY, if you've read anything about that, where they got record snowfall.  It's pretty, but it would have been nice for Christmas instead of now.  All it's doing now is making travel difficult, and making the sky grey and depressing.

I got home Saturday night from the casino tour, safely and by the grace of God.  I like the north country of Michigan, the people are nice and it's oh so rustic, but it's far away and it's so cold that salt doesn't work on the roads, so they spread a salt/dirt mix and you never know which little ice patch will rocket you into the ditch by the side of the road.  And you don't want to find yourself in the ditch up in the U.P. (Upper Peninsula) because there's no cell phone signal to call AAA, and even if there was, it would be hours before they'd find you.

Thursday afternoon after typing my last entry, I checked into the Kewadin Casino hotel in Sault Ste. Marie.  I remembered the place from last year, when I played it in March.  I got all of my bags into my room and went downstairs to the box office to collect my check...it's the main casino of the three, and they pay you for all three nights then and there.  I cashed my check at the cage and didn't have to go through the casino rigamarole of getting a player's club card because I did that last year and they still had me in the system.  I cashed my check and went right over to a "Deal Or No Deal" slot machine and played for about 15 minutes, winning just shy of eight bucks.

I headed over to the buffet to check it out, because they were providing a comped meal for the comics, and I had just eaten but was planning on having dinner later.  I chatted with the girls working the cashier's station, and one lady was actually from my neck of the woods.  She had taught school in a Rochester suburb for about 17 years and returned to the UP when her mother took ill.  It always surprises me when I meet someone who lived in Rochester in a far-flung location, like somehow we're not supposed to leave town and I'm something special because I do it every week.

The show was o.k., packed with college kids and mostly male, so my relationship material was a waste of time and I compensated by being extra dirty which seemed to play well.  As it was a young drinking crowd, merchandise didn't move for shit, which didn't surprise me in the least.  I chilled out after the show, called home and then watched TV until I could get to sleep.  I brought a George Pelicanos crime novel to read (he's excellent, you should check out his stuff...."King Suckerman" was my first [thanks Mike Dambra for the excellent suggestion] and I picked up a couple more at a used book store....he's popular, so they're hard to come by) but I couldn't focus on reading because I was still amped up from the show, so I did the USA Today Sudoku puzzle until I was ready to drift off.

I was worried about the drive to Manistique, Michigan the next day, but the roads were surprisingly clear.  Route 75, the main artery through Michigan, was crappy and the side roads turned out to be mostly clean.  I drove through towns that were little more than a gas station, cemetary and grove of pine trees, towns with names like Raco, Eckerman, Hulbert, Newberry, Germfask, and Blaney Park.  I got to Manistique just a few minutes earlier than Carol Pennington, my partner in crime for the week, and they sent us to a hotel off-site because the casino in Manistique is too small to have a hotel.  It was an Econolodge, but it was the best Econolodge I've ever seen.  They had wireless internet (thank God) and the room I was in was *huge*.  Carol's room had a jacuzzi!  The casino really spent the money to put us up, but in real terms, they probably made that up in about 15 minutes.

I headed off to the casino early for the show to enjoy my comped meal.  The restaurant had a seafaring motif, and it was Friday, so I sailed with the herbed, almond-crusted Tilapia.  It was good, and probably healthy, although I'm not the first person you should ask about that sort of thing.  Carol joined me later, and a few minutes before showtime, I walked across the casino (small place, took about a minute, if that) to the showroom.  The showroom was largely empty, and that's how if twas to stay throughout the show.  We flopped around on stage like fishes.....if a comic tells a joke and there's no one there to hear it, is it still funny?  Well, I'm here to tell you the answer is "no."  I was saved by the fact  that there was one table of four who were actually listening, and then a couple of working-class guys at the bar who were listening, but not looking toward the stage.  I wound up sitting next to them and shooting the shit for a few minutes.  Carol did her thing and then got the hell out of there, and I decided to give "Deal Or No Deal" a shot.  Only problem, the casino only had two of those machines and they were always in use, so I went to an old standby, "Hollywood Squares."  I wound up breaking even on that one after about 20 minutes, so I called it a night, cashed out and went back to the hotel.

There was an incident of sorts at our house Friday night, the police responded to a 911 call that there was a burglary at our house, but Pamela wasn't the one who called it in, meaning it was either our lousy neighbors pulling a prank, or our nice neighbors across the way actually looking out for us.  Regardless, we just had a new door put in that is significantly sturdier than the old one (good thing) so if there was an attempt, it was unsuccessful.  Pamela described the incident to me as very disconcerting, especially when four cops met her at the door with guns drawn.  I felt awful hearing the story, considering I was 700 miles away and really couldn't do anything.  I was seriously thinking about trying to make the 11-hour drive home overnight, but that wasn't happening since the gas stations were all closed and I didn't have enough to make it to the Mackinac Bridge.

I got four hours of sleep and hit the road, taking it slow as not to evoke any unnecessary speeding tickets and made pretty good time, leaving at around 8:20 in the morning and getting home at just after 7 PM.  It was good to be home, and now I'm just trying to shake my Winter doldrums before I have to leave again for Virginia.  This week, it's Newport News, Lynchburg, and then Dover, Delaware and Salisbury, Maryland.  I've done Newport News at Cozzy's before, but this is a Comedy Zone room.  I'm not worried about the competition issue because Cozzy's really hasn't had me back in two years or so.  The last time I went, I didn't make the Friday show because of a huge accident in Washington, D.C. that crippled traffic and left me sitting there.  I called in way in advance so they could get a substitute, but I guess my reputation is damaged enough that they're thinking "no thanks."

So I'm looking forward to the relief from the snow, and maybe that's not good, because I have Ottawa, Canada to look forward the week after, and I'm sure it's colder than a banker's heart up there and buried, as well.  We'll see.

As Gaye from Comedy Zone signs off all her e-mails when she sends itineraries out, May Rays of Sunshine and Happiness fall down upon you, or some happy thing like that.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY