No Leaf Clover

No Leaf Clover                    6309  (2369)

Thursday, December 21, 2006-5:30 P.M.

Today is the shortest day of the year...unless you're a road comic trying to kill time in his hotel room.

When I left this journal, I was recounting the Friday night that my feature act didn't show up.  Saturday, he showed up.  Jack Warren, a comic from Michigan by way of South Carolina, met up with me at the Lafayette Hotel in Marietta, Ohio.  We had a very good show Saturday night, and spent the time before the show recounting how we had originally met during a layover in Omaha, Nebraska.  Jack was touring with another comic from South Carolina and was performing the week after me, and I was staying at the condo on my day off.  Jack and I wound up going to lunch, hitting the post office and visiting a thrift store.  I didn't recognize him by his headshot when I saw it in Morgantown, because like most comics, he doesn't look like that anymore.

After the show, I drove home overnight which took around six hours.  I entertained myself by listening to Christmas music on the radio, which helped put me in the holiday spirit.  When I got home, all that spirit drained out of me as I was looking at the week before Christmas and the prospect of being unemployed.

Monday, I started working the phones and got a lead on a gig, a feature spot at Connxtions Comedy Club in Toledo, Ohio.  The booker didn't know if they were going to need me, but that I would find out about it the next day.  I found out Tuesday afternoon that the gig was on, and that I'd be leaving Wednesday morning.  My wife wasn't happy about me going away, but we both agreed that it was better that I be working than not, especially with her student loan payment being due.

Tuesday night, I went to Danny Liberto's open mic at Alfano's Italian restaurant.  To say that I was mistreated was an understatement.  They treated every comic on the bill so poorly, the only thing I can say is that the last time someone got treated that poorly at an Italian restaurant, Al Pacino had to fish a gun out from behind a toilet tank to do it.

Mike Dambra, one of my bestest friends in comedy (and otherwise) won the money, but that's because he got into a ragging match with the female bartender who wound up dumping a cup of ice water down his shirt.  The exchange got so ugly that she couldn't retort, she had to resort to a physical attack.  Well, the bar loved it and Mike won the money, which was good because he was having a bad day and needed the boost, I think.

So Wednesday, I drove to Toledo, arriving about two hours before showtime, and got to the club right on time, thirty minutes before showtime.  I knew that the headliner was Toledo native Jon Ueberroth, but I also found out that my mc for the week is none other than Michigan's John Face, organizer of the Relay For Life cancer benefit that I am lending my talents to early this coming year.  John and I met at the last Relay event that he organized this past Spring, and it was great seeing him again.  Connxtions runs an "open mic" portion of their show to start out Wednesdays, and I met some of the local guys.  My set was fun, although it started off a little unevenly as I tried to ad-lib some stuff and wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say.

After my set, Steve Brewer, a headliner from Detroit who I've worked with several times, took me aside because we apparently are doing a bit that is very similar, and he wanted to let me know as soon as possible lest there be any misconceptions from third parties that we are somehow doing the same bit and that it might be stolen.  Come to find out, we were just working from a similar premise and move to different conclusions, but it's easy for confusion to reign under those circumstances, particularly because we work a lot of the same clubs.  Well, Steve's a real professional and I admire his abilities and I really appreciated him approaching me the way he did because a lot of other comics would have been pissy about it, saying "don't do this bit," or "change your bit" or whatever to protect their own interests.  Steve is an intelligent guy, and again, we've worked together before, so there were no problems from the get-go.  I actually feel encouraged that I'm thinking in the same vein as an established headliner, it makes me feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

After the show, I did the pal-around thing with some of the guys, I shook hands and sold some CD's.  There was a Christmas party of about 13 folks, and the boss bought them all a copy of my CD....that was excellent, as the money is always helpful.  Today, I felt like a money magnet, because as I ventured out to my car to go get some lunch, there was about three dollars' worth of change all over the ground next to my car.  It looked as though someone dropped it and didn't feel it was worth picking up.  Well, fuck that, I have a wife and daughter to support, so you're damn right I'm picking it up!  It actually totaled $3.06, so if you're a gambling person, maybe you play that three digit number in tonight's lottery....it's as good as any other, as far as I'm concerned.

So I'm a lucky guy, I'd say.....finding work where there was none, finding money on the ground, and I also juggled around the week in March when I was supposed to come to Toledo and filled it with another gig, and I also secured a return date at the Rivercenter Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas for March, which is a nice time to be in Texas.  I also found a good comic book shop today and picked up new issues of Civil War: Frontline, Justice League of America, the new Exiles annual, and a What If? featuring Wolverine.  Quite the treasure trove for one such as me, I'd say.

I will probably wind up driving home overnight on Saturday to get the most mileage out of Christmas Eve day with my wife and daughter, finish our shopping and present delivering, and then indulge in our holiday get-togethers with family and friends.  I'm sure I'll check in before the end of the week, so I'll wish you a safe and happy holiday season, and if you aren't on the Tetta family Christmas card list, it means I don't have your address.  If that's the case, please forward that to me by e-mail at Yuksonme@aol.com and we'll add you to the fold.

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY