Love That Dirty Water

Love That Dirty Water            6186  (2246)

Friday, December 1, 2006-4:00 P.M.

Most of the country is freezing and dealing with snow, and I'm in North Carolina sweating my balls off!

Greetings from the Red Carpet Inn, the preferred lodging for the comedy talent for the Greensboro, North Carolina Comedy Zone, a club I've played so many times now I've lost count.  I don't know why they call this place the Red Carpet, because they don't have red carpets, and I certainly don't feel like I won an Oscar or anything, but they have wireless internet, so they can call the place whatever they damn well please.

I'm chilling out, getting ready for my shows tonight, which I'm very much looking forward to after the "road-house"-ey last two nights in Goldsboro and Greensville respectively, where the crowds were nice if not very substantive in numbers or accuity, if you know what I mean.  I worked with alcoholic headliner Monte Allen who did an excruciating 15 shots of Tequila on Wednesday, and my liver spent the evening hiding behind my pancreas just watching him do it.  And lest you think I'm being mean or judgmental, Monte introduced himself to me as an alcoholic, so that's his language and not mine.  I enjoyed his company and we had nice conversation.

On Sunday, I'm visiting my sister Nickki and her husband Dennis who live in Garner, NC, and we're going to a sports bar that will be carrying the Buffalo Bills game.  The Bills are blacked out in Western New York for the second home game in a row, because they didn't sell out, and that's a shame because they are technically the smallest market in the NFL (actually, Green Bay is the smallest, but the team is community owned so they fill the stadium every week regardless).  Buffalo is playing the 9-2 San Diego Chargers, and if the weather is shitty, it might be the Bills' only hope.  They're not stopping the run very well, and LaDanian Tomlinson is leading the league in rushing, or at least in the top three spots, I forget which.  It could get ugly early, and I don't want my reward for being somewhere else to beat the blackout to be watching my team get thumped.

Not much to report, other than tonight and tomorrow I'll be working with Mike McCarthy, the Comedy Barbarian, who I haven't worked with in 15 years since we did a college gig in Upstate New York at Alfred State College.  Mike had a reputation at the time for being a dirty act, and I got a phone call from the college a couple of weeks before asking me about that rumor.  I had already done my homework and got the inside scoop from a Boston comedy buddy (Mike's home base at the time) who told me Mike was indeed a pretty blue act, but I wasn't gonna throw the guy under the bus, so I pled ignorance and kept my mouth shut. I was happy that I was working with him, because I figured if I screwed up and did something that was over the line, they'd never remember it after Mike did his thing.  It was like a license to kill!  Mike has since moved to Florida, and we've communicated over the internet, but it'll be nice to work with him again.

O.K., I'm gonna iron a shirt and grab a nap, y'all be cool, now, y'hear?

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY