Happy Inauguration Day! It's a wonderful day, if for only the idea that power in our nation's government passes peaceably from one man's hands to another's without bloodshed. There are certainly a lot of countries in the world today that cannot make that boast.
Harmony was under the weather today, so we kept her out of school and watched the inauguration ceremony on television. She's only four years old, so much of the broadcast was lost on her, but years from now, I'm sure she'll be happy to announce that she watched the events unfold live.
I am officially sick to death of Winter. The cold weather never used to bother me, and as a matter of fact, I used to enjoy it, but lately travel has become difficult and the impact of the cold on my health and the health of my family has greatly undermined our quality of life.
On Friday the 9th, I was booked to perform a showcase in Grand Rapids, Michigan for the Smith Agency, and the agents who peddle my gameshow "Dash For Dollars" to colleges around the country. They wanted to see my regular standup act and what I bring to the table. The show was in a small bar/restaurant that was filled to capacity and this was despite a winter snowstorm gripping the state of Michigan. The next day, the plan was to drive home back to Rochester and enjoy the weekend with my family; no dice. The storm that was torturing Detroit was blowing snow up around the Port Huron, Michigan area, and put me at a standstill before I could cross over to Canada and cut across Ontario back to Upstate New York. I wound up at a small motor lodge in Port Huron thanks to my trusty TomTom GPS device that is able to locate hotels and points of interest. The going rate for hotels that night was around $115, and I just didn't feel like spending that kind of money. Instead, I found a motor lodge that was letting rooms go for only $35, although they were a little short on services.
For one, they had no wireless internet. For that matter, they had no phones, so I couldn't even dial up if I wanted to. The two rooms that were available, a double and a king suite, were the same price, so I told the desk clerk I would take the double. He said, "Would you like to see the room first?" I figured an offer like that wouldn't be tendered for no particular reason, so I took the key and headed over to room #7.
Room #7 was not better than I assumed it would be. The furniture was ramshackle at best, the bathroom a monument to neglect and a bad grout job. The deal-breaker, though, of this budget-conscious choice was the smell of the room. I could only describe it as thinking that the last renter was a man who couldn't stop peeing while he was cleaning a fish.
I returned to the desk and asked to see the king suite, and moments later, headed over to unit #4. Happily, the room didn't smell unpleasant; rather, there had been some sort of room deodorizer applied that made it smell kind of nice. The furniture wasn't any better and the bathroom was only slightly better, and I decided that this was what I was going to get for $35.
I checked in, drove down the road to a small mini-mart and grabbed some food and bottled water, and spent the rest of the evening watching football and movies on cable. The next morning, the roads were plowed and I headed east. The roads weren't entirely clear, but I had at least a fighting chance to get home in one piece. The day before, somewhere along the way between Lansing and Flint, Michigan, I avoided a 17-car pile-up created by slick roads and cars following each other without the proper space between them.
After a few days at home, the frigid, sub-zero weather set in. I was scheduled to perform at Immaculata University in Exton, Pennsylvania, the first morning of the worst of the cold snap. I picked up my comedy buddy Ray Salah and we headed south to the Philadelphia area, stopping on the New York State Thruway to replenish the window-wash fluid. An examination of the wipers also showed that they were not in the best repair, and a stop at Target rectified that. The college was a small one, with only around 850 students, but they had a good attendance at the evening show, and the drive back was relatively painless. Ray accompanied me to another gig last week, an engagement at the Dunkirk, NY Loyal Order of Moose, with Buffalo comedians Nick Siracuse and Blaine Kelly. At first, Ray was exceedingly grumpy, but after having the time to pal around with old comedy buddies, he loosened up and enjoyed the evening. On stage, I told some real-life stories of our adventures together, which were precipitated on Ray's distinct cackle being acknowledged from the stage by both Nick and Blaine earlier in the show. The crowd had "got to know" Ray only from what we had said about him on stage, and I felt that the groundwork was laid to tell the stories, which went over well. On the drive back home, which was snowy, dangerous and long, we laughed about how well the bits had gone, even though I'd never told those stories on stage before.
This week, it's a week-long engagement at the Funnybone in Huntington, West Virginia, and then a week of college shows, culminating in a Saturday show back in Rochester for my buddy, Danny Liberto. I'm happy to be busy, because at least it's keeping my mind off of how cold I am and how much I can't wait for winter to be over.
Stay warm and be good, and make sure that when you've driving, you give the car in front of you at least one delineation (car length) for every 10 miles of speed you're travelling.
Peace!
Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Gettin' Better (Tesla)
Friday, January 2, 2009-11:30 P.M.
Good evening, and welcome to the first Tetta blog of 2009. When last you left me, I was being discharged from the hospital after having a blood clot in my left leg treated.
The last few weeks, in addition to the holidays, have been about the work of healing up and getting better while still working to support my family. I had to miss the Smith Agency Christmas Party, which I was very much looking forward to, because it was just too long a drive to safely make. I wound up doing short jaunts to the Mountainview Inn in Greensburg, Pennsylvania and the Funny Farm in Gloversville, New York, to maintain some income and semblance of normality. I have to invest in some supportive hosiery for my legs to tolerate longer road trips...I'd heard of such garments, but never worn them or even to this date, seen them. That's on my list of "things to do" for this week."
I was aware of a big-ass snowstorm heading towards Western New York the day before the Greensburg date, and had made arrangements to drive down early, thus missing the storm, but couldn't take advantage of their offer to check into the hotel a day early because I had a mandatory blood-draw the next day. I'm on a blood thinner called Coumadin (generic equivalent Warfarin) and it's completely hit-or-miss when they prescribe the medication because everyone's blood is different and you can't just go by height and weight. Too weak a dose, and blood clots could reoccur. Too strong a dose, and your blood becomes thin enough that a small cut will keep bleeding until you die. They want to see a coagulation rate between 2 and 3. My previous draw had shown a level of 3.2, so I was told to back off the medication. As I drove through the storm on Friday morning, I was contacted and told my level had rocketed to 4.8, definitely going in the wrong direction, and was told to discontinue the medication and then pick up again in half-doses. I had gotten to the lab Friday morning when they opened at 9:00 A.M., gave them the blood they required and drove off into the storm.
The drive from Rochester to Buffalo and then southwest to the Pennsylvania border usually takes about two hours. On Friday, it took a full 4 1/2 hours to make the trip, and the trip was fraught with terror. Ice kept building up on my windshield, and I had to do that scam where you grab the windshield wiper out your driver's side window and thwap! it across the windshield to break off the ice. In doing so, I snagged a fingernail and tore it, and went nuts trying to find a pair of nail clippers (that I always have with me). I found them in my travel bag and gave myself an emergency manicure, and when I put everything back, I buried my cell phone and then went nuts, thinking it had fallen out of my pocket at the Kwik-Fill. When I finally arrived in Greensburg, I was tired, shaky, unshaven, but on time with two hours to spare. The weather in Greensburg when I arrived was 54 degrees and raining.
The gig was cool, and even though it was a small crowd. I worked with "Big Al" Goodwin, and we got along nicely, talking shop and finally putting a human being together with the headshot I'd seen on comedy club walls across the country. After the show, I had to move my room because the room they gave me had no heat, and even though it was a beautiful old historic hotel with amazing fixtures, it was just too cold to be comfortable. They were able to move me with no problems, and I spent the night, hoping the New York State Thruway would be cleared off the next morning.
On Saturday, I hit the road as early as possible, which was 10:30 after showering and packing. The drive was clear and the snow started falling again when I pulled into Rochester. I gassed up and got home, taking 45 minutes to change clothes and begin the drive to Gloversville, NY. On the way, I picked up Steve Natarelli, a Rochester area comic, and we headed to the Funny Farm. We got there about 40 minutes before showtime after speeding in the snow on the back roads of Wayne County and finally joining some of the holiday traffic on the Thruway. The show was sparsely attended due to a Christmas Party cancellation, but we had fun and the comics on the bill did their job. My middle act was John Briggs, a "smart" comic from the Capital District, and some of the other comics from the area hosted and did guest spots. I got Steve a spot and he did very well. When I hit the stage, I'd just let it fly based on being in the car all damn day, and it was fun and funny. Opener Jon Hausmann sent me the following letter:
Granted it's a sample of THREE appearances, but last night was easily your best night there, in spite of the single-digit audience. Maybe you should strive to be exhausted and disoriented ALL the time. Same was true of Briggs. I've now seen him so many times - he was 'ON' last night. Don't know why.
I emceed there last week - audience was about 80 people (including, surprise to me - my BOSS'S BOSS) - and they were DEAD. Not the comics' fault - they audience was just catatonic. The only reactions Headliner Greg Aidala was able to get from them was by swearing liberally at them. Seemed to work - didn't even need punch lines, just channel Redd Foxx and they laughed. Seemed like a DEF Comedy Jam show I watched once in which my wife and I looked at each other and said "What the hell are they LAUGHING at?".
Anyway- you did good last night, not that it matters to Sylvia, but at least you gave 100% to those that came. I liked your bit about "knocking on doors", although in Gloversville after 2 or 3 doors they'd probably run you right out of the trailer park. - Jon
I like the Funny Farm, but it seems every time I go there, it's a holiday, or Mother's Day, or some such crowd-killing circumstance. Maybe it's just the luck of the draw, but Sylvia and Rich are fine hosts, and it's a gig, so we run with it.
Christmas weekend, it was a triumphant return to Rochester and the new comedy club in Webster, NY called "The Comedy Club" (http://www.thecomedyclub.us/) and a feature spot with Rochester's own Joel Lindley. We had a very funny guy named Patrick Dodd do a spot on the Friday early show, and even though he's from Rochester (and brought about 50 friends and family members with him), I'd never seen him work as he got into comedy only after moving to Atlanta. He rocked the room, and it was a great show.
Saturday night, it was a "Comix Cafe reunion show" at the late show. It wasn't a true reunion because the club had quite a bit of turnover in the 10 years they were open, so it was mostly the new incarnation of the staff, many of which currently work at the Webster club. They were good 'n' hammered by showtime, and it caused a little disturbance in the showroom from their table talk, but it was nice to see a lot of the old faces again.
The rest of the week was sponsored by Danny Liberto of the Comedy Company, as I did a spot at his open mic at the Otter Lodge in Brighton, and then headlined his show at the Raddison hotel in Corning, NY the next evening with D-Lo Danny Brown in support. The open mic was packed, and I mean packed, and during the first comic's set (a guest spot by Rochester's own Sky Sands), local comic Billy T. Anglin and I hauled chairs out of the back room to accommodate the couple of dozen people who found themselves standing. It was a great audience to work in front of, and it was only the shear number of comics that caused some folks to have to leave early. The gig in Corning was fun, although it was less like comedy and more like work. Pamela made the 90-minute ride with me and upon entering the showroom, I knew it would be tough as the hotel had already put noisemakers on the tables (the ENEMY of New Year's Eve comedy shows)-anyone with any NYE savvy knows that you don't hand those out until after the show's over. I taped, but it was a highly distracted audience, and not a show that I would want to save. At one point, I addressed a table in the back that were talking to each other the way you'd talk to people at a rock concert; loud and with no consideration of the people around you. After asking them if there was a problem, quite a few table basically told them to shut the fuck up, and then I spent a few minutes berating the drunkest of the table. I'd worked the room for Danny before and always had a great time, but these folks were not focused in any way for comedy, so we just got the money and then enjoyed New Year's Eve. Danny and D-Low chose to head back to Rochester, and Pamela and I sought out a Denny's (the only food available that time of the night), and celebrated by over-tipping the waitress for pancakes and a club sandwich.
Today it was back to the business of maintaining my health, and an early-morning blood draw showed my blood with a coagulation rate of 2.6, pretty much perfect. I met with my doctor later in the day, and he was pleased with the results. He took me off of three of the medications I'm on, including Januvia, which was costing me around $260 a month. I'm happy to be out from under any medications, including that costly little fucker. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing in terms of diet, and step up my exercise, which shouldn't be all that hard, although my left foot still has some swelling and that's made me just a little tentative about taking up the treadmill again. I just have to be creative and figure out how to work some upper body into the mix so that I'm not depending on just my legs to help me work up a sweat. The tour begins again with a club appearance in Grand Rapids, Michigan next Friday, and then the college tour starts up again with a "Dash For Dollars" show in Pennsylvania, and then I picked up a week at the Funny Bone in Huntington, West Virginia, courtesy of my pal, Joel Lindley. See kids, it's all networking in this business.
So belated holiday greetings to anyone I might have missed this season, we got our Christmas cards out on the fly because of my stay in the hospital, and didn't mean to stand anyone up. The good news is that I'm still here, still strong, and looking forward to being around for a long time.
Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY
P.S. Not bragging, but I just did the books for 2008, and I actually showed growth over 2007, and that's even with a drastically reduced income from the sale of souvenir merchandise. I guess I'm in show business for at least another year. Peace, y'all!
Good evening, and welcome to the first Tetta blog of 2009. When last you left me, I was being discharged from the hospital after having a blood clot in my left leg treated.
The last few weeks, in addition to the holidays, have been about the work of healing up and getting better while still working to support my family. I had to miss the Smith Agency Christmas Party, which I was very much looking forward to, because it was just too long a drive to safely make. I wound up doing short jaunts to the Mountainview Inn in Greensburg, Pennsylvania and the Funny Farm in Gloversville, New York, to maintain some income and semblance of normality. I have to invest in some supportive hosiery for my legs to tolerate longer road trips...I'd heard of such garments, but never worn them or even to this date, seen them. That's on my list of "things to do" for this week."
I was aware of a big-ass snowstorm heading towards Western New York the day before the Greensburg date, and had made arrangements to drive down early, thus missing the storm, but couldn't take advantage of their offer to check into the hotel a day early because I had a mandatory blood-draw the next day. I'm on a blood thinner called Coumadin (generic equivalent Warfarin) and it's completely hit-or-miss when they prescribe the medication because everyone's blood is different and you can't just go by height and weight. Too weak a dose, and blood clots could reoccur. Too strong a dose, and your blood becomes thin enough that a small cut will keep bleeding until you die. They want to see a coagulation rate between 2 and 3. My previous draw had shown a level of 3.2, so I was told to back off the medication. As I drove through the storm on Friday morning, I was contacted and told my level had rocketed to 4.8, definitely going in the wrong direction, and was told to discontinue the medication and then pick up again in half-doses. I had gotten to the lab Friday morning when they opened at 9:00 A.M., gave them the blood they required and drove off into the storm.
The drive from Rochester to Buffalo and then southwest to the Pennsylvania border usually takes about two hours. On Friday, it took a full 4 1/2 hours to make the trip, and the trip was fraught with terror. Ice kept building up on my windshield, and I had to do that scam where you grab the windshield wiper out your driver's side window and thwap! it across the windshield to break off the ice. In doing so, I snagged a fingernail and tore it, and went nuts trying to find a pair of nail clippers (that I always have with me). I found them in my travel bag and gave myself an emergency manicure, and when I put everything back, I buried my cell phone and then went nuts, thinking it had fallen out of my pocket at the Kwik-Fill. When I finally arrived in Greensburg, I was tired, shaky, unshaven, but on time with two hours to spare. The weather in Greensburg when I arrived was 54 degrees and raining.
The gig was cool, and even though it was a small crowd. I worked with "Big Al" Goodwin, and we got along nicely, talking shop and finally putting a human being together with the headshot I'd seen on comedy club walls across the country. After the show, I had to move my room because the room they gave me had no heat, and even though it was a beautiful old historic hotel with amazing fixtures, it was just too cold to be comfortable. They were able to move me with no problems, and I spent the night, hoping the New York State Thruway would be cleared off the next morning.
On Saturday, I hit the road as early as possible, which was 10:30 after showering and packing. The drive was clear and the snow started falling again when I pulled into Rochester. I gassed up and got home, taking 45 minutes to change clothes and begin the drive to Gloversville, NY. On the way, I picked up Steve Natarelli, a Rochester area comic, and we headed to the Funny Farm. We got there about 40 minutes before showtime after speeding in the snow on the back roads of Wayne County and finally joining some of the holiday traffic on the Thruway. The show was sparsely attended due to a Christmas Party cancellation, but we had fun and the comics on the bill did their job. My middle act was John Briggs, a "smart" comic from the Capital District, and some of the other comics from the area hosted and did guest spots. I got Steve a spot and he did very well. When I hit the stage, I'd just let it fly based on being in the car all damn day, and it was fun and funny. Opener Jon Hausmann sent me the following letter:
Granted it's a sample of THREE appearances, but last night was easily your best night there, in spite of the single-digit audience. Maybe you should strive to be exhausted and disoriented ALL the time. Same was true of Briggs. I've now seen him so many times - he was 'ON' last night. Don't know why.
I emceed there last week - audience was about 80 people (including, surprise to me - my BOSS'S BOSS) - and they were DEAD. Not the comics' fault - they audience was just catatonic. The only reactions Headliner Greg Aidala was able to get from them was by swearing liberally at them. Seemed to work - didn't even need punch lines, just channel Redd Foxx and they laughed. Seemed like a DEF Comedy Jam show I watched once in which my wife and I looked at each other and said "What the hell are they LAUGHING at?".
Anyway- you did good last night, not that it matters to Sylvia, but at least you gave 100% to those that came. I liked your bit about "knocking on doors", although in Gloversville after 2 or 3 doors they'd probably run you right out of the trailer park. - Jon
I like the Funny Farm, but it seems every time I go there, it's a holiday, or Mother's Day, or some such crowd-killing circumstance. Maybe it's just the luck of the draw, but Sylvia and Rich are fine hosts, and it's a gig, so we run with it.
Christmas weekend, it was a triumphant return to Rochester and the new comedy club in Webster, NY called "The Comedy Club" (http://www.thecomedyclub.us/) and a feature spot with Rochester's own Joel Lindley. We had a very funny guy named Patrick Dodd do a spot on the Friday early show, and even though he's from Rochester (and brought about 50 friends and family members with him), I'd never seen him work as he got into comedy only after moving to Atlanta. He rocked the room, and it was a great show.
Saturday night, it was a "Comix Cafe reunion show" at the late show. It wasn't a true reunion because the club had quite a bit of turnover in the 10 years they were open, so it was mostly the new incarnation of the staff, many of which currently work at the Webster club. They were good 'n' hammered by showtime, and it caused a little disturbance in the showroom from their table talk, but it was nice to see a lot of the old faces again.
The rest of the week was sponsored by Danny Liberto of the Comedy Company, as I did a spot at his open mic at the Otter Lodge in Brighton, and then headlined his show at the Raddison hotel in Corning, NY the next evening with D-Lo Danny Brown in support. The open mic was packed, and I mean packed, and during the first comic's set (a guest spot by Rochester's own Sky Sands), local comic Billy T. Anglin and I hauled chairs out of the back room to accommodate the couple of dozen people who found themselves standing. It was a great audience to work in front of, and it was only the shear number of comics that caused some folks to have to leave early. The gig in Corning was fun, although it was less like comedy and more like work. Pamela made the 90-minute ride with me and upon entering the showroom, I knew it would be tough as the hotel had already put noisemakers on the tables (the ENEMY of New Year's Eve comedy shows)-anyone with any NYE savvy knows that you don't hand those out until after the show's over. I taped, but it was a highly distracted audience, and not a show that I would want to save. At one point, I addressed a table in the back that were talking to each other the way you'd talk to people at a rock concert; loud and with no consideration of the people around you. After asking them if there was a problem, quite a few table basically told them to shut the fuck up, and then I spent a few minutes berating the drunkest of the table. I'd worked the room for Danny before and always had a great time, but these folks were not focused in any way for comedy, so we just got the money and then enjoyed New Year's Eve. Danny and D-Low chose to head back to Rochester, and Pamela and I sought out a Denny's (the only food available that time of the night), and celebrated by over-tipping the waitress for pancakes and a club sandwich.
Today it was back to the business of maintaining my health, and an early-morning blood draw showed my blood with a coagulation rate of 2.6, pretty much perfect. I met with my doctor later in the day, and he was pleased with the results. He took me off of three of the medications I'm on, including Januvia, which was costing me around $260 a month. I'm happy to be out from under any medications, including that costly little fucker. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing in terms of diet, and step up my exercise, which shouldn't be all that hard, although my left foot still has some swelling and that's made me just a little tentative about taking up the treadmill again. I just have to be creative and figure out how to work some upper body into the mix so that I'm not depending on just my legs to help me work up a sweat. The tour begins again with a club appearance in Grand Rapids, Michigan next Friday, and then the college tour starts up again with a "Dash For Dollars" show in Pennsylvania, and then I picked up a week at the Funny Bone in Huntington, West Virginia, courtesy of my pal, Joel Lindley. See kids, it's all networking in this business.
So belated holiday greetings to anyone I might have missed this season, we got our Christmas cards out on the fly because of my stay in the hospital, and didn't mean to stand anyone up. The good news is that I'm still here, still strong, and looking forward to being around for a long time.
Ralph Tetta
Rochester, NY
P.S. Not bragging, but I just did the books for 2008, and I actually showed growth over 2007, and that's even with a drastically reduced income from the sale of souvenir merchandise. I guess I'm in show business for at least another year. Peace, y'all!
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