Gangland

Gangland                                      4635

Thursday, August 7, 2008-2:00 P.M. CDT

Reporting live from San Antonio, Texas, in the efficiency apartment reserved for the talent performing at the Rivercenter Comedy Club, it's your old buddy Ralph chiming in from the road.

It's been a solid three weeks since I last blogged, and I have to admit that my attention has turned elsewhere as of late.  When I'm online, I'm consumed by the comedian chatboard at www.roadcomics.com, the online home of the touring comic community.  I've also had a good chunk of my time taken up by the MySpace game "Mobsters," which is fun and quite addicting.  The game is played by completing missions such as carjackings, muggings, and beating up other gangsters and taking their money.  It's a perfect way for me to vent my less-than-social tendencies.

The fact of the matter is, anything is better than facing real life right now.  The economy is really taking a toll on me and my family.  We bring home less money because I spend more on fuel to get to work, and little things have contributed to the erosion as well.  For example, my merchandise sales are off this year by 18%.  That only equates to a few hundred dollars, but the whole concept of merchandise sales are to help offset the fuel cost of getting to work.  If the trend continues, I may find myself priced out of the game.  I'm sure the merchandise situation is directly due to folks feeling that they don't have the disposable income to waste on such purchases, and I guess in a lot of cases, I'm lucky that folks are even showing up to the clubs at all.  So I literally have to change course in this business, which is what I'm in the process of doing, but it's like turning a battleship in midstream....because most work is booked six months to a year out, it's a big waiting game before any economic effects will be felt.

I did a tour of Michigan a couple of weeks ago that was both fun and profitable, because Funny Business Agency was able to string together a series of one-nighters within a tight geographical area.  Consequently, travel expenses were lower, and the opportunity to work (and make money) increased.  The cost, of course, was being away from home longer, but the name of the game in comedy has always been routing, and going home just eats into the profit margin.

Last week, I headlined a club called Wiseacres (Wiseacres Comedy Club, Best Western Tysons Westpark Hotel, McLean, Virginia) and we made a nice little family vacation out of it; Pam and Harmony made the 7-hour trip to Washington D.C. and we went to the National Zoo, did some shopping, and shook off the heat in the hotel pool.  It was a great weekend, and even though the shows were "summer crowds," (read: not all that numerous) they were great fun and it was fun having the family along.....it certainly made the drive easier with someone in the car to talk to, although in order to keep Harmony happy, we had to listen to her Wiggles, Blues Clues and DoodleBops CD's the whole way down and back.

After only a few days home, it was onto a plane to head down to Texas.  The flight was booked through Expedia, so in order to get the best price possible and still arrive early enough to make my Wednesday show, I had to leave Rochester at 6 in the morning.  That basically meant getting to the airport at 4 A.M., and when you arrive somewhere at that time of night/morning, it's always a crapshoot to figure out who actually got up that early, and who is just staying up late....there's really no comfortable time to approach 4 A.M.....you're either at the end of a ridiculously long day, or the beginning of a terribly uncomfortable one.

I made my connection in Newark, N.J., and during the direct flight to San Antonio, I fell asleep.  I have sleep apnea, so I'm sure I snore pretty loudly, and the flight wasn't full, so there were several seats open.  I sat in an aisle seat, with an empty seat between me and the business traveler in the window seat, and he dealt with me o.k. because we were in the emergency exit aisle, and he didn't have to wake me to get past me to use the bathroom.  My snoring must have been a problem, though, because there was a guy seated directly in front of me, and when I woke up after a couple of hours, he had disappeared.

So I'm here in lovely San Antonio, and I usually try to work here in the Winter, but I'm here in August which is no time for a fat man from the Northeast with a pasty white complection to be here.  I usually like to stride along the Riverwalk which is goodexcercise, but the current outdoor temperature is one that I usually reserve for cooking food.  I'm working with "Uncle" Larry Reeb from Chicago, a great comic that I've had the pleasure of working with before and a nice guy to boot, an excellent combination in this business.  I'll probably try to get some writing done, if the pure distraction of "Mobsters" doesn't heist my free time.  Also, the comedy club is located in the Rivercenter Mall, and they have a movie theatre there and the comics get to see movies for free, so I might wind up seeing "Hancock" or even "The Dark Knight" again (it was that good, my friends).

I hope your summer is going well.  To my comedy buddies, please hang in there, everything is a cycle.  The business goes up and down, you just have to be patient and do what you can to ride it out.  And to my civilian friends, support your local comedy club, go see a show, and if you can afford it, buy a CD.  It's only a few bucks out of your pocket, but it makes a huge difference to the comics.

NEWSFLASH!  I just got word from the new comedy club in Rochester that their website is up and running.  I haven't had a chance to see it yet, but the address is www.thecomedyclub.us so go check it out!

That's enough for me.  Go get your summer!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY