Can't Find My Way Home

Can't Find My Way Home                               7391  (610)

Thursday, April 12, 2007-5:30 P.M.

The watchword in comedy today is the same word it has been for the last 20 years....routing.  You try to match up your gigs so that you get the most fortunate use of motor miles, accumulating as much money as possible with work that happens to be close together.  The best routing I was ever able to hook up was a couple of years ago when I played Daleville and Dothan, Alabama, back-to-back, and they are only about 20 miles apart.  A masterstroke of routing, I must say.

I'm working in Grand Rapids, Michigan, this week, and it is snowing.  I managed to hook up a gig in Brantford, Ontario, Canada last night, which is right on the 403 expressway across Ontario that I would have traveled anyway to get to Michigan.  Sweet, huh?  The gig itself was a bit of a knife-fight, where the denizens wanted to be picked on moreso than listen to finely crafted material, but that's what they wanted, so that's what they got.  I'm no Don Imus, but I threw a good number of "kill" lines out there and trashed a guy pretty hard, but he was hammered and wouldn't shut up.

It rained all the way here....I grabbed a hotel in Flint (I am a Motel 6 whore!) and took off today at noon....the snow started coming somewhere between Lansing and Grand Rapids, and I decided it must be lake effect.....damn that lake effect snow.

I got an e-mail from my friend John Face, a comic from this neck of the woods, and he informs me that the Relay For Life benefit show that we're doing later this month is sold out.  Relay For Life is an agency that concerns itself with cancer, and that is a cause that is close to my heart, because I lost two of my grandparents and recently, my father, to the disease.  I did the benefit last year, and this year, John tells me that they are adding my father's name to the event as a memoriam.  I am deeply touched and so glad that I can be a part of this show, comedy is what I do and in the regular course of my life, I'm not going to find a cure for cancer or bring medical aid or comfort to cancer patients, so this is my way of contributing.  The show is at Gary Field's comedy club in Battle Creek, Michigan, and I'm performing there that week as a part of their regularly scheduled shows for the week, and then doing the benefit on Sunday.  That's some routing, huh?

Next week, I was supposed to perform in Greensboro, North Carolina for Comedy Zone, but I got bumped due to a double-booking.  The problem with this is that it leaves very little time (in reality, no time) to schedule something else.  I still managed to find something courtesy of Danny Liberto at the Comedy Company.  It's a gig in Watkins Glen with Danny and Dennis Ross, a friend of mine that I worked a tour with a while back.  It's only a one-nighter, so it won't replace the full week that I lost, but it's enough to put some groceries on the table and the rest of the week, I'll get a good amount of time with my family for a change....I probably need it at this point.  So, thank you Danny, for the work.  You're a good guy and you saved the day!

I still have a few hours before showtime at Dr. Grins, so I'm gonna stretch out and read a little bit.  I'm three chapters into "Fargo Rock City" by Chuck Klosterman, courtesy of my friend Pat Duffy who lent me his copy.  It's excellent, I've always enjoyed Klosterman's work, and the journey down nostalgia lane to the heyday of metal in the 80's makes it a real good read for me.  I'll probably finish it this week, what with no more long drives in front of me until I have to get home on Sunday.

Such are the benefits of routing!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY