Winning

Winning                                                            4771  (801)

Thursday, June 15, 2006-11:25 P.M.      

Good morning from the great state of South Dakota, home of Crazy Horse, restrricted abortion rights, and the Down Under Comedy Club.  I'm on the second day of a five-day swing through the prairies of America, my third such trip this year.  I hit the road on Monday, after mowing the lawn, getting an oil change and knotting up all of the important work at the house (which of course, included big hugs and kisses for Harmony and Pamela).  I wound up getting on the road about 4 PM, which was later than I wanted to leave, but it worked out for the best.  Buffalo was an hour away, and I thought I might have problems with 5 o'clock traffic, but it was minimal at best, and I motored on west, hitting Chicago at 1 A.M.  I soldiered on through Rockford, Illinois, and up into Wisconsin, and crashed at the first Wisconsin rest area.

I slept for about three hours, and when I woke up, it was as cold as I've ever remembered for June.  It must have been 45 or 50 degrees, and I couldn't get hot coffee fast enough.  I had 500 miles to go to get to Walker, Minnesota, and a 7 o'clock show.  Even with the one-hour improvement moving from Eastern to Central time, I was going to have to pick 'em up and put 'em down at a pretty fair rate.  I made it to the hotel and grabbed a nap, only to be jolted awake by a call from the food and beverage director, making sure that I knew when showtime was.  I acted as coherent as I could, and went back to sleep.

The show was pretty good, it started out with a table full of asshole golfers who didn't know that the lounge was going to have comedy, and they excused themselves during the show rather than sticking around and having their conversation interrupt the show.  There was a table of three, some video poker players at the bar, and not a whole bunch else.  By the time I decided to just put the blade down and plow my way through the 35-minute set, a big group came in and sat down, and they were comic gold. There was a pregnant girl named Billie, and her boyfriend/father of the baby was there, a gent whose name escapes me (massive sleep deprivation eats my short-term memory).  Billie's friends volunteered that the young man didn't want to marry her, and we were off to the races.  I was able to spritz them, interspersed with my own material dove-tailing in, and the set flew by.  I was actually upset that I had to leave the stage of what had been a classic hell gig only 20 minutes ago.

Wednesday, I hit the road and headed south down through Fargo, North Dakota, and into South Dakota.  I drove almost six hours without seeing any manner of fast food restaurant, billboard, church, school or other sign of civilization.  The sparseness of it all is staggering for a city boy like myself, to drive for so many miles and just see nothing.  It explains the lack of diversity of opinion out here in the red states, there's no dissenting opinion because there's nobody to discuss anything with.  Not for me, brother.  Also, I don't relish the idea of knowing that the only groceries or hospital emergency room are 45 minutes away by helicopter.

The show last night couldn't have been better.  The crowd that I had worried about all day turned out in record numbers (the hotel had a convention of janitors, several of whom attended) and hung on my every word.  The owner of the hotel and his wife were very complimentary, and my report card back to the booker shoujld be pretty good.  I have a deep sense of urgency about report cards, because I used to fill them out when I managed the Comix Cafe, and I know how even a mediocre grade can hurt an act.  Giving a comic a "C" is almost like a death sentence...even though it technically means that the comic did a good enough job, you're basically telling a booking agent that he wasn't your cup of tea.  Comedy work is scarce enough that I feel I can't have any clubs saying that about me and jeapordizing my livelihood.  I sold a record amount of merchandise, the most since February, and that's nothing but a good thing, what with the expenses I've already incurred getting out here.

Today's a short drive down to Brookings, South Dakota, and hopefully I can preserve the momentum.  Headliner Bud Andersen has been a peach to work with, all a feature act could hope for in terms of friendliness, talent and polish.  We've been exchanging stories (and after 25 years in the business, he's got plenty of them) and I feel truly blessed that this tour has been shaping up the way it has.  Sometimes I feel I shouldn't worry so much, but without that tension to keep my moving, I'm afraid of growing complacent.

Have a good day, and stay out of the hot sun!

Ralph Tetta

Rochester, NY